


Drowning in Endless Blue Eyes

by justalongthemirroroferised



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Boys Kissing, Canon Non-Binary Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Levi/Erwin Smith, Gentle Kissing, I'm in my feels, Implied Sexual Content, Killing, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, Soft Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), They/Them Pronouns for Hange, cursing, devil references, eruri - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin season 3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28828236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justalongthemirroroferised/pseuds/justalongthemirroroferised
Summary: Levi Ackerman understands the game of survival better than he understands anything else.  He lives by a series of truths, and every one of them has kept him going, even when the grief from losing his comrades threatens to swallow him whole.  He pushes forward despite his regrets, moving closer to Erwin Smith's great dream with every step.  Closer to Erwin himself.  If the way that he felt for Erwin wasn't love, well, it came pretty damn close.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	1. The First Truth is Violence

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you, these two make me want to cry like I haven't cried since I watched FMA:B. This is my first attempt at a male pairing, so I'm a little nervous that I won't be able to do them justice. I love these two characters so much and I've been seeing a lot of videos on TikTok talking about their relationship. It's not explicitly canon, but it totally is, y'know? Anyways, this will be structured like an anthology, with each chapter being themed after what I consider to be Levi's "truths", so to speak. Hope you enjoy! xx  
> (also- just as an aside, I'm writing Hange as non-binary, so I'll be using they/them pronouns)
> 
> If you haven't seen the OVA "No Regrets" PT 1 & 2, I'd recommend watching it before reading chapter one!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi remembers the day when he first met Erwin.

**There are only a handful of things that Levi Ackerman knows to be true.**

**First, he understands that violence is easy. It is an instinct, an urge to act that every human suffers from. To fight, to protect, to destroy; every intention stems from the same basic drive to survive and to win.**

**Violence waits quietly, learns quickly, adapts to all circumstances, and tests anyone and anything for any sign of weakness. There is a beauty in it, a predictable outcome to its inevitable surge. It is terrible, and it is the language that he has spoken all his life.  
  
And yet, there have been several critical moments in Levi’s life when he couldn’t bring himself to deal the final blow. **

* * *

The first time that Levi Ackerman ever laid eyes on Erwin Smith, time had slowed to a crawl. He, Isabel, and Furlan had been in the middle of a heist, and -boom- it had felt like nothing else had mattered. 

Erwin had dropped from above, his brilliant eyes flashing, and Levi had twisted to meet him, completely unaware that he'd just met the only man he would ever love. 

The sounds of the ODM gear around them, expressing streams of gas from their canisters, and the familiar clicking of triggers had faded away. The only thing that had registered had been the pounding of his heartbeat. 

He couldn’t have explained the feeling in his chest, competing with the burn of his muscles as he’d fought to keep Erwin’s blade from reaching his neck. 

There had been a strange recognition of sorts simmering between them, a yearning that sat so deep in his bones that he’d almost lost control of his movements. It had felt like an awakening, like a breath of air after too long underwater. 

He’d recognized Erwin’s eyes, full of passion and a melancholy so deep that he’d nearly drowned in it. The only thing that had snapped him out of the trance had been the shouts from Isobel, and even then it had taken all of Levi’s control to keep his anger on the surface, to keep fighting for his life. 

He knew this man. He’d never seen him before, but he knew him. 

Levi knew him as well as he knew the face that stared back at him from the mirror each morning. 

The clash had been short but brutal, a meeting of opponents who were complete strangers, but who understood the dangerous dance that they had both willingly engaged in. Levi had welcomed it, settled easily into the bloodshed and the flashes of white-hot pain as he’d forced his muscles to their limits. 

Any pain was worth it to take a piece out of the man who’d made him feel so fucking unsettled. 

But those striking blue eyes had just stared at him, unflinching, studying him with a razor focus that he’d never seen before. And then, out of nowhere, there had been a small flash of triumph shining in those eyes. 

Levi had experienced a thousand emotions in that short moment, pinned against a wall as his instincts had sung for him to fight, to kill, to win. But as time had sped up and he'd blinked, everything had changed. 

He hadn’t realized it at the time, but he’d wanted to know what it was that had filled Erwin’s eyes with hope when he’d looked at Levi, desperate and furious, pinioned under his sword blade. 

That confrontation, full of tension and an emotion that he still didn’t have the words for, had changed him forever. Levi had known in his heart of hearts that Erwin hadn’t intended to attempt to kill him that day. 

Levi couldn’t have explained how he’d been so sure of that, but he’d seen a flash of respect in the stranger’s striking eyes, and that had told him more about Erwin than any conversation ever could have. They’d exchanged a thousand words with one glance, reaching an understanding that still took Levi’s breath away. 

He’d dropped his knife. His arrest and the handcuffs that had been slapped on his wrists had faded into a blur. He’d watched Erwin speak to his team through a dark curtain of his hair, impatiently waiting for Erwin to carry out his missive. 

Levi hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away from Erwin’s face. 

Erwin was all lithe grace, brimming with a confidence that had ignited a jealousy in Levi. He’d felt like he was seeing the future that he could have had, if only he’d managed to get above ground. 

Erwin had carried himself with the confidence of a man who had never known what it felt like to be crushed under someone’s boot, he'd never been the child that no one had even noticed was missing. He'd never had to pick up a blade and defend himself on the streets. 

Erwin had chosen to learn how to fight. That fact alone made him Levi’s opposite. 

Levi had doubted that Erwin Smith had ever known what it hopelessness felt like. 

_(Even now, after years of fighting together, Levi wondered if Erwin was capable of it_.) 

Erwin was tall, striking, full of fire and sunlight- everything that Levi wasn’t, and that had been made extremely clear as he'd towered over Levi, silhouetted by the light of a thousand guttering lanterns. His legs were strong, unbowed by the rickets that plagued the underground city, filled with a strength that had come from a childhood of privilege. 

And yet, his eyes had seen more horror than Levi had ever known; eyes that ancient could never have been faked. 

As he’d knelt on the freezing, filthy ground, on his knees like a beggar in front of Erwin and his soldiers, Levi had asked himself if he’d had enough of living. The answer had been a resounding no, and he’d raised his head to look Erwin in the eye, daring him to speak. 

There was no way that Erwin hadn't felt the recognition that had sparked between them. 

If Erwin had had something to say to him, Levi had wanted to hear it.

He’d fought the urge to shiver (it never warmed properly in the Underground), and had allowed his anger to bubble to the surface. 

“Get on with it.”

Erwin had been dangerously calm, and his steadiness, something that Levi would eventually come to rely on, had only pissed him off. There had been no resentment in his expression, no disdain, and Levi had hated it. 

Levi had waited, anticipated his death sentence. But he couldn’t have predicted the words that had fallen from Erwin’s lips instead. They'd made his treacherous heart skip a beat. 

“Join the Scouts. Lend me your strength.”

The words had shaken Levi to his core. 

The promise that had been etched into Erwin’s features had been far more dangerous than he’d understood at the time. But in that moment, Levi might have given anything for a piece of the kingdom that Erwin’s eyes had offered him, without Erwin having to say a goddamn word. 

_(Years later, Levi wondered if Ymir had seen the same kind of conviction shining in the eyes of the Devil who had promised her the world.)_

He'd known that Erwin had seen something in him that Levi had never allowed himself to hope for. He’d seen the potential for greatness- or at the very least, another arrow in humanity's quiver. And that had been enough for him to change his tune and grab that opportunity with both hands. 

Erwin truly hadn’t had any idea of the magnitude of what he was offering them, and it had ignited a flame of determination in Levi’s chest that he’d never felt before. 

“I’ll join the Scouts,” he’d snapped, fighting against the euphoria that had already risen up in his breast. 

_I’ll be the best soldier that you have. Fucking bet on it._

It didn’t matter that he’d planned Erwin’s assassination a thousand times in his head already. Levi had decided that day to reach out and take the promise of the better life that had been dangled in front of him. 

_Erwin’s days are numbered_ , he’d told himself, forcing himself to think of the assignment and the citizenship in the world above that was now within his reach. One well-timed swipe of his blade would have been enough to get the job done. 

But he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Erwin’s eyes. Someday, he’d find out if that icy blue really was like the fucking ocean. 

_(And it was. The ocean's blue waves hadn't shocked him when he'd finally made it to the shore; he'd been staring into its depths for years.)_

* * *

The first day of his training, he’d understood Erwin for the first time. It had been a fleeting moment, but it had brought a rare grin to Levi's face. 

Nothing could have prepared him for what it had felt like to swing through trees on ODM gear, relishing the warmth of the sun on his face. Every chance he got, Levi would always let go of the triggers and allow his momentum to carry him upwards, towards the birds that flew high in the sky. 

_(The euphoria of flying through the air still made his heart skip a beat.)_

And for a moment, whenever he’d reached his apex of his leap, he’d look out over the horizon and stare out as far as he could, trying to memorize the feeling of the breeze, and the heat of the sunlight, and the green land that had stretched out endlessly in front of him. 

To think that all of that territory, and whatever lay beyond it, could ever belong to humanity once again...it was a madman’s fantasy. 

A world free of Titans. 

It had been a crazy dream, but Levi had understood why Erwin’s eyes stormed the way that they did. Why his crooked smile had always been at the ready, why he had believed in Levi. Why he’d taken him under his wing and expected that he could keep up with fully trained soldiers, knowing full well that Levi was capable. 

Levi had made damn sure to prove that he was a force to be reckoned with. 

He’d seen the approval in Erwin’s eyes, heard the whispers of the other soldiers as he’d ignored their training and followed his instincts; he'd worked to be faster, more effective, more ruthless than any other recruit that they'd ever seen. 

There was a part of Levi that had wondered if he'd put in all of that effort to catch and keep Erwin's attention. With each passing day it had been harder to stop his thoughts from wandering into dangerous territory. 

He’d welcomed the comforting weight of his twin blades in his palms instead. 

All that he had to do was get through the training and find the document, he’d told himself, tossing and turning in the too-soft beds in the military barracks. He’d never been able to sleep properly without a wall at his back.

But the barracks had been kept fastidiously clean, and he'd loved the fact that the Scouts were expected to keep the buildings in tip-top shape. 

For a time, he’d been happy. Isabel and Furlan had embraced their new lives, rejoicing in their upwards climb, content that they had managed to secure a future better than they’d dared hope for. The training course and their time in the countryside had led Levi to believe in something other than his own fists. 

The Scouts division was everything that he liked; orderly, with strict standards and a clear goal in mind. 

_(That, and the camaraderie between the Scouts was an incredible thing, and he'd been accepted into their ranks without a fuss.)_

It felt like he’d died and been born anew. No one had recognized him as a hard-eyed thief lord from the underground city. 

_(Levi commanded respect in the Scouts; he’d never had to take it by force. That was a feeling that he’d never gotten used to. But it felt an awful lot like pride_.)

But, as it always had, violence had continued its steady march forwards, demanding more of Levi than he’d been prepared to give. He’d been foolish enough to believe that he was in control. 

The damned document had remained out of his reach. No matter how happy he’d felt, he’d also been painfully aware that his time on the surface had a time limit. All of his dreams had rested on the question of whether or not he'd be strong enough to murder Erwin Smith when the moment presented itself. 

He’d thought long and hard about the pros and cons of the mission. And in the end, Levi hadn't been able to come up with a valid reason to keep Erwin alive. His strange personal feelings on the matter had been irrelevant; he'd repeated that statement over and over in his head until he'd almost believed it. 

If he got caught and was executed, at least he could live out the rest of his sorry life above ground in prison. If he didn’t, well, he would have a decent life somewhere within Wall Sina. Either way, he’d gotten up that damn stairwell to the surface.

He’d chosen not to care about the debt that he owed Erwin. Surely, having a martyr to avenge would have been just as motivating as a crazy pipe dream for the Scouts. 

At this point, Levi had gotten very good at lying to himself. 

In all honesty, the taste of freedom, of happiness above the ground, had only whetted Levi’s desire to have a real life, free from the despair that had soaked into everything below the walls. 

Killing Erwin was the way out. 

It hadn't mattered that Erwin had fascinated him, made his heart race in his breast. 

Levi hadn’t been able to stand the fact that he, despite his best efforts, hadn't been able to stop thinking about Erwin. He'd felt like a moth, chasing after any elusive light source in the hopes that they would find a safe place to land. Apparently his heart had decided -without consulting his mind first- that Erwin was that safe place.

He’d hated Erwin’s commanding presence, and the soldiers who adored him, and the dream that kept pushing his soldiers to the gates of Hell, time and time again. 

And he‘d hated those beautiful eyes that had followed him everywhere. 

It felt like Erwin could see all of his secrets just by looking at him- Levi still felt that away, even after years had passed. He’d felt like his hurt was written plainly in his grey eyes whenever they’d made eye contact, and that had made him want to fight against Erwin’s pull that much harder. 

After all, how could Levi have known what falling for someone felt like? 

The only thing that Levi had known was the fact that he’d never felt anything like what he'd felt when he’d stood quietly next to Erwin. 

Safe. Respected. Wanted. 

_(And he'd felt that way ever since.)_

* * *

Despite all of that, on that fateful day, when the Scouts had left on the 23rd expedition beyond Wall Maria, Levi had made his decision to chase after his dream and kill Erwin. 

As it turned out, his payment to ascend the stairs hadn’t come in the form of money. 

No, Levi had paid for his mistakes in blood. He’d never forgiven himself for leaving Isabel and Furlan behind in the fog. 

Years later, even when he’d made peace with the memories of that day, he relived the moment that he’d found Isabel and Furlan’s bodies. Sleep never came easily to him after that, not when he saw their vacant stares and the hopelessness in their tortured expressions whenever he closed his eyes. 

He’d wondered if it was their inexperience that had killed them, if it was a lack of gas in their tanks, or if it was simply that the Titan had been too powerful for them to handle. 

There had been nothing but violence left for him to hold onto. 

He’d raged. He’d given every bit of himself to killing. He’d fought, not for his life, but for those who couldn’t fight anymore. 

But after everything, after his blades had shredded the abnormal Titan to bits, after he’d exhausted all of his rage and his grief, Erwin had remained standing. Levi had lunged at him, intent on dealing a killing blow. Erwin hadn’t reacted, other than to stare him down. 

Desperate to find a bit of meaning in Isabel and Furlan's deaths, he’d found himself searching Erwin’s eyes again. 

Those damned eyes that had promised him freedom had looked at him like he'd meant nothing. 

And then Erwin had spoken the words that had changed Levi forever. 

“Don’t make any decisions that you will regret.”

 _No_ , he’d thought furiously, hating the man who had given him a chance to prove himself and had done nothing to block his blow other than hold onto his sword blade with his bare palm, leaving the choice up to Levi. They had both been very aware that Levi could have easily killed Erwin. 

But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. 

“Your regrets will influence your decisions, and then, inevitably, you will let others make your choices for you.”

 _You’ll never fucking understand_ , Levi had raged silently, unable to force his arm to drop. Erwin’s eyes had watched him, no longer filled with hope, but with a conviction and a determination that had shattered every naïve belief that Levi had held about him. 

This man was frustratingly human. Erwin, just as Levi had been, had been fighting to keep himself together by shutting everything and everyone out. This was a man who had ordered good soldiers to die, all for a dream that had been cut short by the whim of one abnormal Titan. 

Levi had finally seen why Erwin's eyes were so haunted. 

The still-warm soldiers that had strewn the ground around them had made their choice- every one of them had believed in Erwin enough to lay down their lives for the cause, and Levi had finally understood what Erwin was asking of him. And he had _asked_. He hadn’t demanded a single damn thing from Levi. 

_Will you follow me into Hell for the chance of a future?_

Something to fight for...

He'd burned silently, fighting against the truth that Erwin had so plainly laid out for him. 

“If you can’t live your life without regret, then you should just lie down and die,” Erwin had said quietly, letting Levi’s blade go. A moment of deafening silence had passed, and Levi had dropped his sword. 

Both of the blades that he’d drawn against Erwin had missed their mark. He couldn’t have killed Erwin, even if he’d wanted to. 

He'd had no choice. Citizenship, a life above ground- it no longer mattered. 

Because Erwin, somehow, had still managed to believe in what could be, in spite of all that had come to pass. 

And despite of all that Levi had done, Erwin had still been willing to allow him to be a part of that dream. And Levi had admired him for it. That man was a quiet genius, and Levi had wanted -no, _needed_ \- to know him. 

Even in the depths of his grief, he’d chosen to put his faith in Erwin. 

As Erwin had mounted onto his mare and trotted away into the rain that had poured down around them, soaking Levi and washing away the Titan blood that had soiled his brand-new uniform, Levi had made his last decision. 

If he had to sacrifice everything to achieve Erwin’s dream, then so be it. After all, he'd had nothing but his strength to offer. 

He'd given everything to the Scouts from that day onward. 

Levi had known, from the moment that Erwin had dropped from above to intercept him, that he would be forever entangled in something greater than he ever could have imagined. 

_(He hadn't fallen in love, no, love had reached into the darkness and pulled him upwards, towards the light, kicking and screaming.)_

* * *

**In rare moments of vulnerability, Levi wondered if he could be different - if after Wall Maria was retaken, if anything would change.**

**  
** **He wondered if there would be a need for his unique kind of strength; or if there would be a place for violence at all- if the craving for it would be snuffed out by the extinction of the Titans.**

**Levi knows better than to hope for that. It is the only thing that he knows. After all, it was thanks to violence that Erwin Smith found him, so really, he is grateful to it.**

**It is a beautiful thing, to look death in the eye and see oneself reflected back in shades of striking blue.**


	2. The Second Truth is Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi struggles with the loss of his squad. Too soon, he is forced to send more soldiers to die in order to capture the Female Titan. He wonders if he can keep Eren alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I was not expecting this warm of a reception to chapter one. Thank you so much! This chapter is stylistically different from the first- the first chapter was a memory sequence and I think the following chapters will most likely be structured as short stories. Anyhoo, I've always wanted to hear Levi, Hange, and Erwin discuss how they were going to take down the Female Titan (spoilers for season one, I guess..?). All my love xx

**There are only a handful of things that Levi Ackerman knows to be true.**

**Second, there is nothing that can be done to stop death in its tracks. It does not differentiate between those who deserve it and the innocent. Levi often wonders if it prefers the strong- if it loves the thrill of the chase as his soldiers dance out of its reach, time and time again until they make one mistake and it is all over.**

**Death is patient.**

**It lies in wait, circling endlessly around everyone that Levi has ever known, only to wrap its cool fingers around their necks and ruthlessly tear the life from their eyes.**

**He’s never been able to stop it. And that is a weight that he has carried within his heart for years.**

**Death comes in a thousand different forms. And one of those forms is a grey-eyed commanding officer.**

* * *

The air was different on top of Wall Rose. The unyielding stone stood silently, easily bearing the weight of countless soldiers who travelled in groups along the perfectly flat top, their standard-issue cloaks pulled tight against the bite of the wind. 

The merciless cold sapped the breath out of Levi’s lungs as he gazed out over the lost territories that stretched beyond the walled city of Trost. Before the sun rose, it was always below freezing at this altitude this time of year. His breath puffed out around his head in white clouds as he watched the sunrise, his cloak pulled up to keep the chill from the back of his neck. 

The Scouts had narrowly escaped to safety within these walls barely a day ago. 

Slowly, the dawn painted the sky with brilliant oranges and golds, gradually lightening until the sun peeked over the horizon. Levi sighed deeply, although the sound held no emotion. He was deep in his thoughts. 

It was quiet. It was almost easy to picture that there was no danger outside the walls. All Levi would have to do to imagine it was ignore the scratching of the titans who had gathered at the base of the wall, but he had no intention of letting himself be caught up in the illusion of tranquility. 

He was in the eye of the storm- there would be no respite once the other side of the gale reached inside the walls. Three days of calm was all that they could give humanity. 

There was work to be done, and he couldn’t rest until he was satisfied that he was finished. 

Idly, he wondered if that day would ever come. 

He brushed an imaginary speck of dust from his sleeve. 

Everything was cleaner up top, from the scent of the breeze, to the strict military standards that kept the cannons in pristine order. Levi much preferred it here to the chaos of city life. It allowed him to think. 

He’d made his way up here for a moment of quiet, to clear his head before he would be forced to make decisions that would brand another mark into his already exhausted heart. 

The position of commander regularly reminded him how helpless he could be when it counted most. The weight of his dead squad’s badges was heavy in his pocket. It had only been a day, and he ached for them. 

Up there on top of the wall, however, he was the one in control. His cloak billowed around his hips, snapping in the sudden rush of cold air that swept upward from the base of the wall, but he didn’t move to avoid it. Every one of his joints currently ached, and his shoulders were tighter than usual this morning, but he chose not to focus on it. 

Discomfort meant nothing to him, not anymore. It was no more irritating than a fly; very easily ignored. It was the price that he paid for staying alive, and he was glad to pay it. Death would have to wait and nip at his heels another day. 

He didn’t have the time or the energy to waste bemoaning the results of over a decade of ODM manoeuvering and near-constant fighting. However, his newest injury was still tender, and he begrudgingly shifted his weight away from his left ankle. 

His jaw clenched as he turned away from the pristine view, steeling himself for a morning meeting with Hange and Erwin. They had indicated that they’d wanted to discuss the failed 57th expedition without anyone else present. 

There hadn’t been any time to meet the previous day. They’d barely managed to escape with their lives two days ago, fleeing towards Trost with Titans closing in from all sides. The next day had been filled with tallying the dead, writing frantic missives, and dealing with the extreme trauma that the regiment had been through. The new recruits were in especially bad shape. 

Levi couldn’t blame them- he’d never seen a mission go as badly as that one had. 

_Welcome to the Scouts,_ he thought bitterly. 

Yesterday, a letter had come from the High Courts, demanding that Erwin present himself for judgement. Eren Jaeger was to be taken to the capitol in chains, where he would be executed as mankind’s enemy. Levi had seen Erwin open the letter, and fear for Erwin's life made his stomach clench. 

It was no wonder that Erwin and Hange wanted to talk; the fate of mankind hung in the balance. And they only had one day to pull off the biggest gamble in the history of the Walls.

The thought of seeing Erwin made his heart skip a beat, but he ignored the acceleration of his pulse. His expression didn’t change, hiding the slight shift in his demeanor. 

Without him realizing it, his cheeks warmed ever so slightly. 

His grey gaze flicked over the elevator mechanism to his left, and he debated whether or not he wanted to waste any time waiting for the plodding wooden box to rise to the top of the wall. Erwin had only specified that Levi was to meet him after dawn, but it could take as long as half an hour to lower him down to the ground. 

He was moving before he’d even made his decision; it would be faster to fall. 

Levi’s sure fingers tapped the triggers on his grappling hooks. He moved with the ease of a seasoned soldier as he directed the catches to bite into the stone below him as he launched himself off of the top of the wall. 

The feeling of plummeting towards the ground wasn’t jarring to him anymore, not after he’d been doing it for so long, but the corner of his mouth ticked up slightly as the arc of his fall lent him enough momentum to shoot upwards as he hit the gas trigger. 

There was a moment where he hung in the air, speeding towards the clouds, when he allowed himself to enjoy it. Even after all of the time that he’d spent living above ground, the feeling of the sun on his face was still just as incredible as it had been the first time.

But the moment passed quickly as he aimed his triggers anew, jerking slightly to the right as he flew past a crumbling bell tower that was missing a good portion of its lower load-bearing walls. He was careful to avoid any weak spots with his grappling hooks, expertly swinging between large buildings, chimneys and towers as he moved past as a blur. He hissed out a grunt as his speed shifted his ankle, and he adjusted his trajectory to compensate for the pain. The shriek of his wires was music to his ears. 

The clay tiles of the roofs clattered underneath his boots as he landed on the other foot, jumping to grab hold of his makeshift zip-line. To keep weight off of his injured ankle, he used his gear to shoot between buildings on long horizontal lines, taking care to keep up enough speed to avoid clipping any structures. Hange had done a marvelous job of patching him up, but he wasn’t about to fuck up any chance of healing it properly. 

A bad ankle could be a death sentence for him. 

There was another fight coming, and Levi intended to meet its challenge head on. 

His gaze slid over the pockmarks and damage on nearly all of the houses and businesses around him; it was almost eerie to see the physical evidence of the battle of Trost district that had taken place barely a month ago to the day. 

The damage to the cement walls only hinted at the destruction underneath; the city air was heavy. It felt as if the inhabitants were holding their breath, waiting anxiously for another titan attack. 

Levi couldn’t blame them for that- even he wondered how much time Eren’s newfound titan shifting ability could possibly buy them before the titans attacked again. 

The thought of Eren was enough to make his hands clench harder on his triggers with frustration. No matter what, he couldn’t let him die. His Titan had nothing to do with it; he was Levi's problem, so he wasn't going to let Eren get killed. 

There was the issue of the Female Titan to deal with first, he reminded himself firmly, determinedly crushing the fury that bubbled up in his belly. 

Levi launched himself into the air once again as he reached a taller set of buildings, much preferring the rush of wind through his air and the speed of the ODM to the slower, more tiresome path on the street below, even with his injured ankle. 

He gently tapped down from the roof outside the gates of the barracks, making his way into the military depot at the northern end of the city. His holsters clanked at his sides, lending his strides another layer of authority. He pretended not to notice the searching glances of several young, tall cadets. 

He was tempted to cuss them out for watching him and talking about him in whispers, but he didn’t have the energy for it. 

No one challenged him; his reputation preceded him. He’d only worn his gear to discourage any kind of ambush, but he doubted that anyone who wanted him dead would be stupid enough to try to sneak up on him. 

_(Well, besides Erwin. But that had been a different time. That version of him was long dead.)_

Levi ignored the twinges from his ankle as he walked. He didn’t have far to go. 

The air inside smelled like a strangely comforting mixture of gunpowder, boot polish, and the almost imperceptible whiff of gasoline. The building was ill-lit and slightly hazy from the use of gas lamps. Dozens of windows were boarded up, still waiting for glass replacements from the inner cities. Levi’s mouth twitched ever so slightly as he remembered that several of the new recruits had been responsible for the damage. 

He liked those kids, although he'd never admit it out loud. 

Glass fragments glittered between the floorboards, lending the floor a strange metallic sheen as he determinedly made his way down a staircase. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed as he spotted a small corner on the stairwell that sported a guilty little dust ball. 

Only because it wasn’t his building to govern, he deployed a truly heroic amount of effort to keep moving, turning his mind away from the unforgivable mess. The walls regiment had taken significant losses, he supposed, but that was no excuse to let their home base grow filthy and unkempt. 

Trainees and seasoned soldiers snapped to attention as he passed them in the hallway, nodding respectfully at him. Levi didn’t react other than to incline his head slightly at several of them that he recognized. He passed a large open room echoing with boisterous laughter. 

From the looks of it, several of the newer recruits had time on their hands, if their enthusiastic game of cards meant anything. Levi could smell the liquor in their cups wafting through the air, and his expression hardened. 

If they had time to fuck around, they had the time to clean. 

_These brats can’t do a damn thing right without being spoon fed orders_ , he thought darkly, rounding a corner towards the barracks proper. With practiced ease, he stripped off his ODM gear and harnesses, folding the leather straps and the Scouts regiment cloak into a neat square. He washed his hands in the small sink, taking in the ever-present dark circles under his eyes in the small mirror’s reflection. 

They didn’t bother him, but it was with an annoyed narrowing of his eyes that he wondered if Erwin would notice that he was looking particularly tired today. Levi adjusted his cravat and reminded himself that he didn’t give a flying shit before he turned on his heel and stalked out of the locker room. 

Yes, he knew that was a lie. The tiny sheen of sweat on his palms betrayed him.

Erwin’s note had said to meet him and Hange in the basement archives room, so he doubted that it was going to be a casual meeting. They had too much to figure out before Erwin had to report for Mitras. Time really was of the essence. 

Erwin had a flair for dramatics that bordered on the irritating; Levi knew that the spies who were working for the Military Police would have already taken note of their arrival to Trost, especially given the fact that the bloated politicians and court fools in Mitras were baying for Erwin’s blood. 

Levi assumed that Hange had called in a favor to get them someplace private to meet. Erwin was expected in Stohess in a matter of days; he had to remain somewhat visible to avoid raising suspicion. Levi would have preferred to strategize in the countryside, but if Erwin felt that this depot was a safe enough place, he could deal with the stares. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed. Erwin had to have a plan- he always had something up his sleeve. Levi trusted him enough to go along with whatever he had planned, no matter his personal feelings on the subject. 

Levi clattered down the steps to the basement, his piercing gaze automatically checking all of the shadows and possible hiding spots as he went. Old habits from the underground died hard, and he wasn’t about to be caught flat-footed anytime soon. His injury made him even more cautious. 

The aforementioned meeting place loomed up before him, and he didn’t hesitate before he palmed the doorknob and pushed the door open. Hange was sitting closest to the door, at the end of a large wooden table, and they gave him a cheerful wave and a smile as he closed the door behind himself. Erwin stood at the opposite end of the room, next to a steaming teapot and three cups. He held a sheath of notes, and he handed them to Hange as Levi crossed the room towards them. 

“Good thing you found this room, we had to pull some strings to get something private. Nice, huh?” Hange drawled, gesturing at the room. 

The paint was peeling, the walls were yellowing, and the flickering amber-yellow glow of the gas lamps gave the space a pinched, unhealthy cast. It smelled of dust and neglect, and Levi felt his lip curling in response. 

_Great._

Levi nodded once, allowing the faintest hint of amusement to pass over his grey eyes as he took in the slightly manic cast to Hange’s face; if he knew them at all, they were impatiently sitting on some new findings. Somehow, he doubted that he would be happy to hear about it. 

“Levi. We were waiting for you to arrive.”

The deep rumble of Erwin’s voice radiated towards Levi, and he clenched his jaw as a strange little shiver rolled down his spine. His skin suddenly felt overly sensitive, and he fought to keep his restlessness under control as he turned his head to face the commander. 

No, restlessness wasn’t the word for it, but it straddled the line between awkwardness and anticipation. 

He’d left before Erwin had woken up, so this was their first greeting of the day. Levi’s cheeks pinked slightly as it dawned on him that Erwin had heard him get out of bed and had felt the press of Levi’s lips against his temple before he’d left the room.

The warmth in Erwin’s eyes proved it. 

Erwin’s striking blue eyes were the first thing that he always noticed. Storms raged in his irises, and that piercing gaze was one of the only things that could make Levi feel like he had no control. It was like the feeling of falling, but sharper, more infuriating. His stomach fluttered. 

Levi’s stern gaze raked over Erwin’s high cheekbones, elegant, straight nose and slightly reddened lips. He was fully aware that Erwin had a habit of pressing his lips together when he was thinking, and that made his heart lurch in his chest. He unconsciously licked his own lips. 

Levi cleared his throat, prompting a tiny flicker of mirth to pass over Erwin’s neutral expression before he gestured for Levi to sit. Levi complied, silently asking the questions that simmered in the air between them. 

_Was all of this really necessary? Why are we hiding like rats in a filthy basement?_

Luckily, Hange didn’t seem to notice. “Were you followed, Levi?”

“No,” Levi said shortly. “But they know that we’re here.”

He didn’t have to elaborate as to who “they” were. Hange cracked their neck and let out an exasperated sigh.

“I hate spies. It makes it difficult to work.”

A bitter smirk slid across Levi’s mouth. Erwin’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he never broke eye contact with Levi. He nodded once, and Levi’s hackles lowered somewhat. 

“That’s quite alright. We’ll lull our enemies into a false sense of security by making their jobs too simple,” Erwin said frankly. “We will be able to move more freely that way.”

Erwin’s gaze was clouded over with worry, betraying the conflict that raged within the Survey Corps commander; Levi knew Erwin’s face as well as he knew his own, and what he saw there reflected his feelings on the matter that they were undoubtedly about to discuss.

Levi stared at his hands for a moment, sorting out his rioting thoughts. 

First and foremost was the issue of Eren. Levi had taken on the task of training him in an effort to save the kid’s life, but the massacre of his squad in the forest had left him wondering why the fuck he’d stuck his neck out in the first place. 

Eren hadn’t been ready for that kind of mission, and Levi bore the guilt of expecting too much of him too quickly. He could live with the consequences, but the price had been too dear for him to simply push through. He’d lost some of his closest comrades, and grief gnawed at his gut. 

Levi cared about Eren, he knew that much, but he was too damn frustrated to think charitably of him at the moment. And now that the Female Titan was confirmed to be after Eren, Levi had to face the truth that more soldiers were going to die trying to keep him safe. 

Death was always waiting in the wings; it was always a half-step behind them whenever they ventured beyond the walls. 

“Tea?” 

Levi was unceremoniously yanked out of his thoughts as Erwin offered him a steaming cup. He took it, taking care to avoid making any direct contact with Erwin’s fingers. Erwin noticed, of course, and a tiny, conspiratorial smile threatened to turn up the corners of his mouth. Levi quickly looked down, hating how transparent his emotions were to Erwin, despite his best efforts to hide them entirely. 

It was maddening, the way that he couldn’t keep his thoughts to himself.

 _Just get on with it_ , he thought bitterly, taking a sip of tea. It was just on the edge of scalding, and he took a second to enjoy it. He’d only had to teach Erwin how to make it correctly one time, and he’d never forgotten how to make it the way that Levi liked. It quite effectively diffused some of his irritable mood; his aching ankle had something to do with that, he was sure. 

If he told himself that the warmth in his chest was due to the tea, he could almost believe it. 

Hange, naturally, was too enthusiastic to keep what they wanted to discuss to themselves. For once, Levi was thankful for their exuberance- it was an excellent excuse to look away from Erwin. He couldn’t put into words what simmered between them, but he wasn’t stupid enough to address it when they had company. 

His heart thumped steadily against his ribs. 

Respect wasn’t a comprehensive enough term for it, but it was as close as Levi was willing to get today. 

“So, let’s begin,” Hange began, clasping their hands together in front of their mouth. Their expression darkened into an uncharacteristic frown. “Erwin and I have been mulling over a plan to catch the Female Titan.”

“You know who she is,” Levi said accusingly, leaning back in his chair. “Is she one of ours?”

He didn’t bother to temper the anger in his tone. 

“We have our suspect. She is a new member of the MP,” Erwin said carefully, crossing over to the door. He turned the key in the lock and didn’t react as Levi’s expression darkened slightly. “We discussed it while you were asleep last night. Hange and I pored over all of the documents during that time. We are waiting on an absence report to confirm her whereabouts during our expedition. ”

_I was asleep for less than three hours. You’ve gotta be kidding me._

“Why the hell didn’t you wake me-“ Levi began, his brow furrowing. He stopped when he saw the pensive look in Erwin’s eye. Guilt wasn’t really something Levi felt when he interrupted others, so he stared at Erwin instead, daring him to challenge his tone. Erwin didn’t react, only watched him steadily. 

“You needed the rest,” he said simply. 

Levi flushed, looking down at his hands. The last thing that he remembered was sitting in his office with Erwin, feverishly filling out paperwork and writing letters to the families of the dead, and the next, he’d woken up in his normally un-used bed, curled around a sleeping Erwin. He supposed that once his adrenaline had worn off, he’d fallen asleep. It was obvious that Erwin had carried him to bed. 

It was so unlike him that he bit down on a pulse of embarrassment. He was tempted to try to save face, but they didn’t have the time to spend arguing. He decided to drop it. 

Levi knew that Erwin and Hange had both wanted him to sleep enough to recover from his injury. He couldn’t really fault them for that, even though the situation had left him standing like an asshole with his hand outstretched, waiting for the information that they had. 

Erwin sighed and motioned for Hange to speak on his behalf.

They complied eagerly, hopping out of their chair to plant their ass on the tabletop. Levi watched them through narrowed eyes, impatiently waiting for them to get to the point. 

“We’ve come up with a strategy. Your input will help with the final decision. We weren’t going to move forward without discussing it with you first,” Hange continued, leaning forwards. Their glasses flashed in the weak light as they tilted their head, studying Levi. 

“Fine,” Levi said bluntly. "What do you want to know?"

Hange tucked a strand of hair behind their ear. “You were the one who got closest to the Titan when she kidnapped Eren. Do you believe that she’d want him badly enough that we could use him as bait?”

“She carried him in her mouth like a fucking cough drop. If she wanted him dead, he would be,” Levi replied acerbically. He didn’t like where this was headed. “Yeah, I think she’ll follow him.”

“Hm. Do you think she cares for him?”

“Fuck if I know. But she was crying when we left her,” Levi answered dully, searching Hange’s face for any clue as to what they were going to say next. 

“It is likely that she attacked with the sole purpose of drawing Eren’s Titan form out. He’d be much easier to subdue than one small human moving quickly; I believe that she was concerned that she might kill him unintentionally if he didn’t transform. We cannot guess her true intentions,” Erwin said thoughtfully. “I believe that she needs him alive.”

“Well, that’s the confirmation we needed, Levi.”

Levi didn’t react, but they appeared to find something they approved of as they nodded subtly and leaned back in their chair. “So, say we get Eren to lead her-"

“What, Four-eyes? You want me to tell you that he’s the best chance we’ve got to catch her?” Levi asked, dangerously quietly. His irritation simmered underneath the surface as he settled his cup gently on the table. He wasn’t about to break the china, but he couldn’t keep his temper from bubbling over. 

“Our goal is to keep him alive,” Erwin said bluntly. “Is he capable of sticking to the plan?”

“Yeah, but he won't. He's got heart, but that's about it.”

“You don’t believe that. We wouldn’t be standing here if not for that very quality,” Erwin said sharply, leaning over to place his palms on the table. He sighed and ran a hand over his face. 

“I'm not fucking around,” Levi said sharply, turning his annoyance on Erwin. “Eren doesn't know how to take commands seriously yet. He’s also too inexperienced to make decisions on his own.”

“We don’t intend to let him go it alone,” Hange assured him. Levi relaxed slightly, silently grateful that they appeared to have guessed what he was thinking.

“You became the soldier that you are through hard work. When I met you I would have said the same about you. It took time for you to trust me,” Erwin said frankly. Levi turned the full force of his frustrated glare on the commander, relishing the little blaze of warmth in his chest as Erwin didn’t flinch, meeting his gaze with equal intensity. 

The silence stretched out between them. 

“Don’t compare us. It’s a waste of time,” Levi said softly, watching Erwin for any change of expression. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear, but hearing Erwin speak about him that way made him want to go on the offensive, to posture. 

Levi squashed the urge. 

“What forms your opinion of Eren?” Erwin asked. Levi knew full well that he wasn’t in the habit of asking questions that he already knew the answer to, so he continued, determined to say what he needed to say. They didn’t have a chance in hell of pulling this mission off if he kept his mouth shut. He skirted effortlessly over the subject of his own journey to a command position. 

“The brat hasn’t learned to make decisions and stick to them, no matter the consequences. No amount of me kicking his ass is going to change that if he doesn’t get smarter,” Levi said stiffly, choosing his words carefully for once. 

“Come on, Levi, he can’t be that bad,” Hange entreated. Levi’s head snapped around, and he glared at them. 

“We don’t have time to teach him if we want to pull off whatever you’re planning. If you want to crack open his thick skull and try it another way, be my guest.”

_He hasn’t learned to respect Erwin without question yet, and that pisses me off. I can’t save the kid’s life if he doesn’t want to be saved. I’ll do what I have to do to keep people alive, but that brat doesn’t see the big picture yet._

His concern for Eren reared up in his chest and he bit down on a wave of frustration. If he didn’t make his feelings for the situation clear, he was afraid that more people were going to die because they overestimated the dedication of a fifteen year old that they barely knew. Eren's life would depend on them making the right decisions, and he didn't feel that using him as bait was the smart plan. 

But, Levi had a feeling that Erwin would manage to talk him into it. He always did. 

“Jaeger doesn’t have the discipline to keep shit from going sideways. He doesn’t know how to control his temper. He understands force, but not how to use it. You know the risks of a wild card,” Levi continued, allowing a fraction of his irritation to bleed into his tone. 

“He has potential,” Hange said quietly. “Eren has adapted faster than we could have hoped. He decided to transform in the forest, and he briefly held his own against an opponent who is far better trained than he is. It’s fascinating, really-“

Levi cut them off, slamming his feet down on the ground as his chair tilted forwards. He ignored the bloom of pain in his injured ankle. “Potential doesn’t mean shit if we don’t have time! Fuck fascinating. What he did was lose his head in the middle of Titan territory-”

“Easy, Levi,” Erwin murmured. That quiet, steady temper of his just made Levi’s irritation ignite. 

“I’ll say what I want to say, Erwin,” Levi snapped. “I’ve got one damn soldier left alive, and he’s it. You asked for my opinion, so you’re getting it. I’m not going to put him in danger again without saying my piece.”

He hadn’t even had the time to mourn his fucking squad, so he wasn’t in a damn bargaining mood.

“I didn’t think-sorry, Levi, your team-“ Hange began, sorrow glistening in their dark eyes as they regarded Levi with pity. 

Levi’s lip curled up into a small snarl, but he reined in his frustration, steepling his hands in front of his mouth. His grief was a burr in his gut, but he couldn’t afford to mourn now, not when the fate of humanity relied on his ability to do what needed to be done. 

“They knew what they were signing up for. No point in talking about it. What’s done is done,” he said dismissively, determinedly changing the subject. 

The lie tasted bitter in his mouth, betraying his attempts to keep it contained, and he hurriedly took another measured sip of tea. Erwin watched him steadily, still waiting for the real answer to the question. Levi sighed.

“Eren will work as bait, if the Female Titan is really only after him. Keep the plan as simple as possible, and he might survive,” he finally muttered. "Keep Eren on a short leash."

“What are your most pressing concerns?” Erwin asked quietly. Levi deflated somewhat, forcing his emotions to calm. His words were clipped, frustrated, but he’d eased up enough that they weren’t a snarl any longer. 

“Eren’s got something to prove, which makes him unpredictable. That determination that he’s got also makes him stupid. He can’t focus on anything else once he’s got a target in mind.”

“That is beneficial to us,” Erwin replied. 

“Tch,” Levi muttered.

“Eren is emotional,” Erwin said thoughtfully, sighing deeply as he settled into a chair across from Levi. “But that can be used to our advantage. I believe that we can predict his reactions and plan accordingly. He has a single-minded determination to kill titans, and if he is betrayed by someone he trusts, then I believe that his fury will be the weapon that will take down the infiltrator.”

“Cut the bullshit. There’s something you’re not telling me,” Levi said darkly, narrowing his eyes at Erwin. His only response was to tilt his head to the side. “You’re sure that Eren knows the shifter.”

“I have my suspicions about who she is, but no definitive proof, not yet. We need to meet with the cadets to confirm what they saw.”

Grudgingly, Levi had to admit that it wasn’t a bad plan. He still didn’t like it, but it could work. 

“I became far more wary of the 104th section after the murder of Hange’s pet Titans. She revealed her hand after our expedition,” Erwin continued soberly, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. Levi knew where this was headed, but he decided to let Erwin monologue. He couldn’t pick holes in his theory if he didn’t hear it, anyways. 

_No shit_ , Levi thought darkly.

“Give me the name.”

“Annie Leonhart,” Erwin supplied, watching Levi out of the corner of his eye. “Sound familiar?”

Levi shook his head. 

“If she hadn't killed Sawney and Bean, we wouldn't have been tipped off before our mission,” Hange sniffed, pushing their glasses further up on their nose with one finger. “She is very proficient on the ODM gear, not to mention excellent at hiding her tracks. She was fourth in her class. Only a few cadets could have pulled off that kind of stealth operation. Someone noticed something that was odd when we did inspections following the incident, just as we were hoping that they would.”

“You mean that Arlert noticed something and he told you when you questioned him last night,” Levi said sardonically, ignoring the tiny flicker of interest that reared up in his chest. “Tell me what I don’t already know.”

“I have narrowed down my list of subjects to the graduating 104th for several reasons,” Erwin continued, absently drawing out numbers on the table as he spoke, “First and foremost, they were aware of Eren’s shifting abilities shortly after the attack on Trost-“

“Yeah, them and every soldier within a hundred miles,” Levi said darkly, gritting his jaw. “The entire capitol city knew within hours.”

“But the information was diluted- no one except the soldiers on the ground could tell you what happened, and only a handful of the elite squadrons got close enough to see Eren in action. Only a shifter would recognize him for what he was,” Hange interjected, impatiently brushing their hair off of their face as they spoke.

Levi raised one eyebrow with interest. Hange took that as encouragement as they continued to speak animatedly. 

“All of the other soldiers in Trost would have run away from him, assuming that he would hunt them as soon as he finished killing the other Titans. Most of the soldiers hadn’t even seen a Titan before, never mind an abnormal,” Hange said with relish, holding up one finger to make their point. “So, our group of suspects was narrowed down enough to start digging.”

“Ever consider that another Titan shifter may have gotten killed at Trost?” Levi asked bluntly. “I doubt the Female Titan was working alone. We still don’t have any idea who the Colossal and Armoured Titans are.”

“I came to the same conclusion,” Erwin said softly. A tiny smile danced around the corners of his mouth, making Levi’s cheeks warm. He hurriedly glanced down at his hands. 

“Don’t tease me like that,” Hange said mournfully, plopping their cheek into their hand, “To think that a perfect specimen might have been lost-“

“Focus, Hange,” Erwin reminded them, not unkindly. They grinned sheepishly. 

“Sorry, Erwin. Levi does have a point.”

“Can’t trust anyone who isn’t in this room,” Levi muttered. “At least until we’re damn sure that there’s no spy in our ranks. Did the plan reveal anything?”

“Yes. But only that we’re being watched. It’s unclear where the Female Titan came from. She attacked the right flank, but we can’t be sure that she thought that Eren would be in that position. What a terrible mess,” Hange said miserably, lolling around in their chair as they bemoaned the fact that they’d let the Female Titan escape.

“That’s not to say that we haven’t been able to use several clues to isolate her position within the military,” Erwin said softly. 

“She’s so intelligent, what I wouldn’t give to cut her open-“ Hange continued, completely ignoring them. Levi didn’t mind. 

“It fits,” Levi muttered, nodding once as Erwin’s gaze settled on him. “You think Annie Leonhart is the culprit.”

“Yes. We believe that we’ve found some discrepancies that will allow us to narrow our field of vision. It was made clear by her actions beyond the Walls that she was unaware of our capture technology and formations,” Erwin said softly. 

“Her age is a clue. She’s too young to have seen them before.”

A satisfied smile threatened to turn the corners of his mouth upwards as his striking eyes glittered; he was pleased that Levi had caught on.

“We have records of all the enrolled soldiers, living and presumed dead, but there are gaps in the files following the attack on Shiganshina. That allowed us to narrow our search even further. There is only an approximate three month timeline where the information is missing or incomplete. Once the refugee camps were sorted out, all of the soldiers were accounted for. We accessed all training records and gear dispensary ledgers for activity that is consistent with our standard operating procedures,” Erwin said smoothly, inclining his head as he spoke. 

Levi said nothing, crossing his arms across his chest as he waited for further information. He didn’t disagree, not yet, but he had questions that needed to be answered. He decided to wait. 

“The only groups that could have supported an infiltration were the cadet squads that graduated within the last five years. The only group that has a lack of vetted activity is the 104th. We believe that the Female Titan was trying to get herself close to the king, but her immediate goal changed when Eren shifted into his Titan for the first time,” Hange said animatedly, pushing aside their cup of tea to gesture with their hands.

“Why?” Levi asked abruptly. 

Hange shrugged. “We won’t know until we catch her.”

Their eyes shimmered in the faint light, betraying their excitement at the prospect. They were likely to start drooling soon if Erwin didn’t change the subject. 

Levi suspected that Hange intended to take their revenge on the Female Titan for killing their pet Titans. He wasn’t at all inclined to stop them. Titans healed anyways, it wasn’t like they were going to inflict any permanent damage on the shifter. Dark satisfaction reared up in his chest, but he didn’t allow any of his thoughts to show on his impassive expression. 

“Once Hange’s Titans were killed, I immediately theorized that that particular graduating class was the most likely to have been compromised,” Erwin rumbled, leaning back in his chair. “We have captured Titans before and tested them on several occasions and they have never been killed. Eren’s transformation was what made this time unique.”

Levi didn’t reply, but he agreed with Erwin. The shifters would have had great difficulty getting over the wall from their side prior to the attack; it made perfect sense that they had entered into the walls following the confusion and panic of the destruction of the gate leading through Wall Maria. 

_So, she was searching for something. Eren, maybe. Otherwise, there would have been no need to lay low for five years._

They shared a meaningful look, and Levi lowered his gaze back to his hands, acquiescing to Erwin’s silent request that he hear him out before passing judgement. 

“The Female Titan also was immediately familiar with Eren’s tendency to swing wildly and attack without guarding his face and his nape. She would only be aware of such things if she knew Eren personally,” Hange said excitedly, grinning widely. 

“You have a point,” Levi said reluctantly. 

“Up to this point, we have narrowed down our search, but there are a few questions that we need to answer before we can be sure,” Erwin added soberly. “That covers all that we spoke about last night.”

“There’s another way to identify her,” Levi said softly, glancing up at Erwin. “Eren keeps his features when he transforms. You don’t have anyone in the Scout cadets except for Lentz and Arlert who look anything like the shifter.”

“I came to the same conclusion,” Erwin confirmed, nodding encouragingly at Hange. “Hange was the one who suggested that to me. After the battle of Trost, we considered the possibility that every soldier who was still alive should have their physical features added to their identification files for future reference.”

“That doesn’t help us now,” Levi said reluctantly. He took another sip of tea, glancing up through his fingers at Erwin, who waited patiently for him to continue. “So?”

“We have to report to Stohess in two days, which leaves us very little time,” Erwin said thoughtfully. He crossed his arms and glanced at Hange. “Under no circumstances can we allow Eren to be taken in. We will need a decoy.“

“I agree,” Levi said sharply, uncaring that he’d just completely interrupted Erwin. Erwin took it well, watching Levi with a slightly bemused expression tracing across his handsome face. 

“With what?” Hange asked absentmindedly, looking up from their hastily scribbled notes. 

“We can’t let Eren get killed. He’s an idiot, but we need him.”

The complete apathy in his tone didn’t appear to shock either of his companions. Levi mulled over his thoughts for a moment, turning over every possible scenario in his mind. Reluctantly, he admitted that he couldn’t have come up with a better idea. 

Respect for Erwin made his mouth go dry, and he hurriedly drained his teacup, noticing with carefully concealed dismay that he didn’t have any left. The slightly bitter, rich taste remained in his mouth, and he reached up to subtly drag his thumb along the corner of his mouth to wipe away a stray droplet that he’d been careless enough to miss. 

His grey eyes snapped up, catching Erwin in the act of watching him. It was only for the briefest of seconds, but it was enough to make his cheeks flush. Levi was suddenly very glad for the semi-darkness of the room, and he dropped his gaze to the table, swallowing hard through the sudden lump in his throat. He hadn’t missed the tiny smirk that lifted the corner of Erwin’s mouth, and he bit down on the inside of his cheek, hard, forcing his mind back to the issue of Eren. 

Erwin stood up and turned his back to Levi, clasping his hands behind his back. Levi knew that pose, just as well as he knew what was going to come out of Erwin’s mouth next. He watched Erwin's hand reach up to grab a ledger from a shelf. He blew dust off of the cover. 

“There are several cadets who we trust. We will need to meet with them as quickly as possible, away from prying eyes.”

“So we’ll go to Stohess, and then what?” Levi snapped.

“We trap Annie. If that doesn’t work, then Eren will fight her in close quarters combat, isolated from other Titans, until we can capture her,” Erwin replied.

“What about the people?” Levi insisted, fighting the urge to rise to his feet. “It’s densely populated. That’s a big fucking problem.”

“If the Female Titan is part of the MP, as we suspect, then we'll have no other chance to get to her. I have to make a case to the government,” Erwin said coolly. “I will play my part.”

“Leonhart's already proven that she’s smarter than we’d planned for,” Levi said accusingly, hating the way that his voice rose. “How many more Scouts are gonna die?!”

_I can’t be the man who sends those soldiers to their deaths. Fuck this, I need you._

He clenched his fist, fighting to stay calm. Erwin’s steady gaze bore into him as he turned back to face them. A tiny, foreign twist of unease entered his thoughts, but he never moved his accusing gaze from Erwin’s face. 

_All that fucking death. First the forest, and now this. How many people are gonna die? Innocent people, kids, anyone who gets under the feet of two 15 metre Titans._

“I’m aware of that. I’ve come up with several strategies that will ensure that she cannot outsmart us,” Erwin said calmly. “There will be casualties, but if the plan is successful, we will avoid as much bloodshed as possible.”

“And Eren?” Levi demanded, rising to his feet. He jabbed one finger down into the table, shoving his teacup to the side. It clattered against the small plate that held it, but he ignored the scrape of the china. “The brat can’t even control his strength, how are you gonna control the collateral damage!?”

“By using something that only you were able to teach me,” Erwin said simply. “We’ll use the underground tunnels as plan A.”

If Levi was the kind of man to laugh loudly, he would have. He settled for scoffing instead, shaking his head. “You’re betting on Annie trusting Eren enough to follow him into a tunnel.”

“Yes,” Erwin said simply, draining his own cooling cup of tea. “It is the most logical plan. I would prefer to avoid losing any more of our soldiers. We will need Arlert, Ackerman, and Eren to work together without our supervision.”

Something abruptly occurred to Levi, and he mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. 

“Eren might not be able to fight Annie if that doesn't work,” Levi said bluntly, crossing his arms.

“How so, Levi?” Hange asked, frowning as they replaced their chair and leaned on the back of it. 

“He only loses control of his emotions when he’s transformed,” Levi replied. A muscle worked furiously in his jaw as he thought. “If he’s friends with the shifter, then you need to have men standing at the ready.”

“You don’t think he’ll be able to put aside his personal feelings?” Hange asked quickly, pushing their glasses further up their nose. 

“No fucking idea,” Levi said frankly, glancing sideways at Erwin. “Do you want to be the one who takes that chance?”

“I have faith that he can do it,” Erwin said softly. “You raise a good point. But the plan must move forward as I’ve outlined it.”

Levi glared at him, mulling over the choice words that he’d like to throw in Erwin’s direction when Hange stood up, nodding encouragingly at them. 

“I’ll leave you two to hash out the details of our meeting tonight with those recruits,” they said cheerfully, tucking a strand of their hair behind their ear. “I have a dozen hook traps to build for plan B.”

They knew exactly what was going on between Erwin and Levi, and had wisely decided to make themselves scarce. The tips of Levi’s ears burned. 

They saluted and left the room, boots tapping on the concrete. Levi waited until the door had slammed shut behind Hange before he rose to his feet and stalked towards Erwin, who was staring at a ledger as though it held a great secret. 

Levi decided to try another tactic. It had been settled that Eren was to be the bait, but he was determined to make sure that he was as safe as he could be. Even if Erwin didn't agree with him, at least he would have voiced his opinion. 

“Oi, Erwin,” Levi said bluntly, putting himself in the commander’s line of vision. “I can’t fight. Don’t put the kids on the front line alone.”

“That’s correct. You’ll sit this one out, Captain,” Erwin said solemnly, his gaze flicking up to meet Levi’s. “I have a hand-picked list of veteran soldiers ready for your approval. Eren will be surrounded by allies on all sides, including in the tunnels.”

Somehow, using his title had put some distance between them, but Levi wasn’t having any of that. 

“They can't be in uniform or Leonhart will catch on. Eren isn't the only unpredictable factor. Ackerman will lose her damn mind if Eren gets hurt, I need to be close to buy them time to escape-“

“I need you by my side,” Erwin said firmly, finally raising his head from the ledger. His gaze bore into Levi’s, and neither of them backed down. “If you are missing from the hearing, then it will raise suspicion. Hange will have to be the one to call the shots.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Levi sighed and raked his hair away from his forehead. "Fine."

"We will clear the street beforehand," Erwin assured him. "But we will need to do it without raising suspicion. I wager that many civilians will wish to see the infamous Eren Jaeger as he is transported to the king. We shouldn't have any issue drawing a crowd."

“You said that you need a decoy,” Levi said, crossing his arms. “Who?”

“Jean Kirstein.”

A bitter chuckle tumbled out of Levi’s mouth before he could stop it, and a flash of amusement crossed over Erwin’s stern expression. 

“He doesn’t look anything like Eren.”

“He looks enough like him that it will work. Eren hasn’t been seen by anyone from the capitol at close quarters. I’ve commissioned a wig,” Erwin said breezily, rewarding Levi with a rare chuckle. Levi stared at him for a second before he recovered enough to continue peppering Erwin with questions. 

“So get someone to put on a wig and pretend to be me, too,” he said darkly, daring Erwin to laugh.

“I need you at the courts with me. We will only have one opportunity to catch the titan. Your injury will only slow you down.”

Levi sighed, raking his hair away from his eyes. His steady grey gaze dropped to Erwin’s hands, which were carefully closing the ledger. 

“Fine. How much are we telling the brats?”

“Everything,” Erwin said firmly. “The more prepared they are, the better off they will be. I’ve narrowed down a list of the cadets that I trust fully.”

“Who?”

“Jaeger, Ackerman, Arlert, and Kirstein.”

Levi hummed a soft note of agreement. His mind whirled. 

His reservations about Eren had nothing to do with his abilities as a titan, just his inexperience as a soldier. He supposed that he’d been a little bit harsh in assuming that Eren would prove to be unmalleable and set in his ways. Erwin’s comment about Eren’s resemblance to a younger Levi was aggravating, but even Levi had to admit that Erwin wasn’t entirely mistaken. 

Erwin trusted Eren. So, despite his reluctance to believe that a kid could change and grow quickly enough to make the tough choices; Levi made the decision to also believe in Eren. 

But all of the death that was to come made dread settle into his belly. There was nothing that he could do to stop it; Erwin had to balance the lives of a few dozen, maybe even a hundred civilians against all of humanity-

He was wrenched out of his thoughts as Erwin reached up and placed his hand on Levi’s shoulder. Levi’s first instinct was to flinch away, startled, but there was something so steady and warm about Erwin’s palm that he couldn’t find the strength to move. He stared up at Erwin as the taller man leaned over, bringing his face closer to Levi’s. 

It didn’t matter that Erwin had been this close a thousand times before, it still made time slow. Levi’s heartbeat thundered in his ears. 

Erwin smelled like soap, and that expensive hair pomade that he liked, and leather, and something darker, muskier that was unmistakably the scent of his skin. Levi’s heart stuttered against his ribs, and he stood frozen as Erwin spoke, his voice rumbling out of his chest. 

“I trust that they’ll be able to handle it.”

“Fine,” Levi said shakily, torn between wanting to stay right where he was and soak up Erwin’s warmth a little bit longer and wanting to throw himself backwards. He settled for staying put, wondering, hoping against all hope that they could get through this without any more bloodshed. 

"I'm sorry about your squad. They were good people."

Levi nodded, unable to bring himself to speak. 

Erwin’s heartbeat pulsed through his thumb where it curled around Levi’s shoulder, and he realized that he wasn’t the only one whose heart rate had accelerated. 

“I recognize that I’m being selfish,” Erwin continued, not budging an inch as Levi felt his cheeks warm, betraying his reaction to him standing so close. Levi hated that his stomach was in knots, and it took every ounce of his iron will to keep his gaze from dropping to the floor. 

“What does that mean?”

Levi’s question left his lips before he’d had a chance to think it over, and he hated that he sounded slightly unsteady. Erwin’s lips ticked upwards into a bitter little smile, and Levi could have sworn that he moved forwards another inch. 

“By keeping you out of the fight, I’m putting my interests above those of the mission. I admit that I cannot, under any circumstance, bring myself to put you in a position where you could lose your life while you are injured. You are too important to me.”

Erwin’s eyes were like the rioting, frothy surface of a wind-swept lake. There were a million shades of blue that swirled around his dark, intense pupil and Levi could have stared into them for hours and never hope to decipher what made them so damn alluring. He’d given up years ago. 

“I’m not going to die anytime soon,” Levi said shortly, forcing himself to breathe normally as Erwin’s hand tightened minutely.

“Good. That kind of heart is what I need,” Erwin said softly. “Passion for the cause is the only thing that will bear us through the moments when we are required to sacrifice our humanity.”

“Don’t talk like that, it pisses me off,” Levi muttered, clenching his hand at his side. Every part of him wanted to reach up and take Erwin’s hand in his own, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, not when Erwin was looking at him like he was now.

“You’ve never shied away from honesty,” Erwin said gently, smiling wide enough that a dimple winked into view. Levi held his breath, hoping that his cheeks hadn’t warmed, betraying his feelings. Erwin moved his hand slightly, and Levi almost missed the heat of his palm, but his eyes widened as Erwin reached over to place his palm directly over Levi’s heart. 

"We will not have the time to discuss this later, but I have something that I would like to get off my chest," Erwin said quietly, taking another step closer. "I hope I have made my feelings clear to you. There is no one more important to me."

Levi stared at him. 

“I couldn’t hope to continue on without you by my side. That is the truth of the matter,” Erwin continued, glossing over that irrefutable fact that Levi’s heart was beating so hard that it could have flown straight out of his chest and he wouldn’t have been surprised at all. 

“Don’t talk like you’re gonna die,” Levi said breathlessly. His tone danced between angry and desperate so quickly that he couldn’t keep track. 

“It is entirely possible that I will lose my life. Trusting in Eren is a gamble that I am willing to stake my life on. I cannot change the mind of the courts if they decide that I am the guilty party.”

“If that happens, they'll have to deal with me,” Levi said roughly.

“No. Keep the Scouts together. Whatever happens, I will be with you. Always,” Erwin said fiercely, moving to look Levi very directly in the eye. He was bent at the waist, almost folded in half as he gazed at Levi. He couldn’t take it anymore. "All I ask is that you continue fighting."

"What makes you think I would be fine without you?" Levi demanded, unable to tear his gaze away from Erwin's. 

"You will be. You are stronger than I will ever be. I am replaceable."

Levi’s control shattered. 

"Not to me, you idiot," he said tightly, feeling the infuriating prickle of tears behind his eyes. 

He cut off as Erwin moved. 

Erwin’s other hand grasped Levi’s, and the rough feeling of his callused palm sent a shiver down his spine. Erwin was so damn tall that Levi had to tilt his head all the way back to look at him, and he felt his eyes slide shut as Erwin closed the distance between them.

Erwin always knew exactly what Levi needed in moments when his heart felt it was going to burst. Grief and guilt swam thought his thoughts, but everything was washed away by the feel of Erwin’s lips against his. This kiss was soft, patient, and it was enough to make him stop thinking for a moment. 

Erwin’s hand left his to card through his hair, and Levi couldn’t help his rumble of approval as Erwin’s palm brushed along the sensitive skin on the back of his neck. Erwin’s smile against his lips felt like a soothing balm on his overtaxed heart, encouraging him to release some of the tension that had twisted itself into a knot in his belly. For the first time in two days, it felt like he could breathe.

Erwin groaned, deep in his chest, as his hand dropped to Levi’s waist, pulling him impossibly close. Levi fisted one hand in Erwin’s shirt, greedily demanding more as Erwin’s mouth opened above his, promising a moment of reprieve.

It wasn’t enough to heal everything, but it made Levi forget that he was grieving for a moment. The feeling of Erwin’s callused thumb ghosting along his pulse point as he moved to cup his face once more was so intoxicating that Levi could barely keep his knees from buckling. 

Levi finally pulled back, taking comfort in the heat of Erwin’s skin against his as Erwin pressed another soft kiss to his forehead. 

“We have a chance to turn the tide,” Erwin said quietly, his thumb smoothing across Levi’s collarbone, where his hand had shifted to touch his skin through a gap in his shirt buttons. “I need you to trust that I have thought of everything.”

 _Trust. After everything we’ve been through, you still have to ask me to trust you_. 

Levi’s mind went blank as reality slammed back into his thoughts, and he fought hard to wrestle himself back under control. He couldn't allow his emotions to take over his thoughts; once he'd allowed himself to grieve, he wouldn't be able to think clearly. They couldn't afford for him to be a mess. 

In a moment of pure instinct, a reflex that he couldn’t control, he moved. Levi’s hand pushed Erwin’s palm off of his chest. He couldn’t control the force of his movement, and his eyes widened as he realized that he’d all but slapped Erwin away. 

In a tender moment, he’d chosen violence. He’d chosen to put distance between them, and he was almost overcome with an emotion that he couldn’t name when understanding shone in Erwin’s eyes. Not pity, not shame, and certainly no resentment. Levi wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see, but that absolutely wasn’t it. 

“I told you not to talk like that,” he said sharply, forcing his breathing to even out as he tore his gaze away from Erwin’s. “It’s a waste of breath. Do what you want, just keep my soldiers alive.”

"Levi, look at me."

"I'm fine. Focus on the operation. Eren is our best chance."

That lie was even more bitter than the first one had been. 

His heart lurched in his chest, and he turned on his heel, making for the door, away from the tension that hung so thickly in the air that he felt like he might suffocate. 

"Levi-"

“Let me talk to Eren alone before we meet,” Levi said abruptly, turning to glance over his shoulder. “He blames himself for what happened.”

“Do you blame him?” Erwin asked quietly, watching him with pity in his gaze. Levi swallowed hard, knowing that Erwin understood that he couldn’t talk about what had just happened. 

“No. No one could have predicted that.”

Erwin nodded. “I agree. Very well. I expect that you’ll bring him to the meeting tonight. Good luck.”

Levi didn’t answer; he didn’t need to. He opened the door and left the room without looking back. 

He walked slowly up the stairs that led up to the exit, stopping only to gather his gear from the locker room. He took the shortest route back up to the surface, passing through the mess hall and the munitions room. He didn’t bother to put his hood up, and he tilted his head to face the bright blue sky as he stepped out into the sunlight.

For a moment, with his eyes closed, basking in the bright morning light, he let his thoughts quiet. Levi finally allowed himself to think about Petra, and Oluo, and Eld, and Gunther, and every other soldier under his command who’d died fighting for freedom under his command.

What the Scouts were about to do next would have to be enough to avenge them. He couldn’t be the one to do it- he’d lose his damn mind before he even got close. But he would play his part, as he always did, and hope that it would be enough. 

Too soon, he forced himself to return to the present moment. Levi ducked between two buildings, making for the inner gate. He didn’t bother to launch himself over the wall; his ankle had decided that he’d had more than enough sudden movement for the day. 

It was a short walk to the stables once he was through the gate of Trost and into the countryside beyond. His horse lipped affectionately at his sleeve as he checked her saddle and bridle, nickering happily at him when she realized that he’d stolen an apple from the mess hall in the arms depot. 

Sometimes old habits die hard. 

Levi tossed the apple towards her, almost smirking as she caught it and chewed messily. He swung up into the saddle, careful to avoid the mess of apple juice on the floor of the stables. 

“Disgusting. You always make a mess,” he muttered softly, shaking his head. He gave her an affectionate pat on the neck as he nudged her into a trot. She clattered over the river bridge and obliged his commands, opening up her stride as they pelted into the countryside. 

Levi held his body carefully to the right, taking care to keep the impact of riding off of his ankle as he steered his mare towards the cabin where Eren was waiting for his return. He’d left half a dozen soldiers that he trusted to keep an eye on the kid, and he kept a watchful eye on his trail, determined to head off anyone who was stupid enough to follow him. 

Luckily for him, there was no tail, and he relaxed slightly as he neared his destination. An old hunting cabin loomed out of the trees, looking for all intents and purposes like it had been abandoned. It was all by design. 

He dismounted, trusting in his soldiers to recognize him. Levi wasn’t stopped as he entered the house and immediately made for the small room in the back of the building. He paused before he opened the door, moving quietly to keep from disturbing Mikasa, who sat slumped over in a chair beside the bed. Eren's soft snores filled the room. 

He paused, taking in the sight of Eren sleeping. He was still heavily bandaged, and he lay on his side, one arm flung out towards Mikasa like a little kid. He looked so young like this, and Levi almost regretted making a case that he was too young to be trusted. If he thought hard about it, he doubted that he would have been a better soldier at Eren's age. 

Silently, he admitted that he was wrong more than he was right. All that he cared about was getting his soldiers home safe. And in this particular circumstance, it was Eren who was in control; Levi had to trust that his heart would lead him in the right direction. 

Mikasa's eyes snapped open as he took a measured step into the room, but she quieted immediately when he inclined his head and raised his open hands. She recognized that he wasn’t there to hurt Eren, but her ever watchful eyes followed his every move as he arranged himself at the foot of Eren’s bed, hands in his pockets. 

“Hey, kid. Wake up. We’re leaving. Prepare yourselves for a long night.”

Eren stirred, propping himself up on his elbow as he rubbed his eyes. "Captain?"

"Move your ass. We've got shit to do," Levi said sharply. He glanced at Mikasa, who sat pin-straight in the chair. "You too, Ackerman. Wake Arlert and Kirstein. Wear the spare garrison cloaks hung in the entryway."

Guilt writhed in his belly, acrid and sharp as he looked into Eren’s sleep-muddy eyes, steeling himself for the battle to come. Eren had no idea what he was about to be asked to do. They'd already asked so much of them, and now here Levi was, with his hand out again, pushing him straight into danger. The poor kid hadn't even had a chance to grieve Levi's squad. 

_Sorry, kiddo. Wish there was a way to keep you out of it._

Levi's stern expression softened slightly. But adrenaline spiked through his veins as he caught sight of Eren's eyes. They'd changed since the forest; they now bore the weight of a thousand lifetimes. They were like Erwin's eyes, filled with a conviction that couldn't be mistaken for anything else. 

Death lurked behind those sleepy teal irises, hammering against the cage that held Eren’s Titan in check. And Levi couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it, short of killing Eren. That was the last thing that he wanted. 

He couldn’t bring himself to say anything comforting as he spun on his heel and steeled himself for the command decisions that he needed to make. 

He knew that before the sun had set two days from now, that he would have sent good men to their deaths.

All of it was for humanity. And for Erwin. He couldn’t believe in anything else.

The badges in his pocket had never felt so heavy as they did now. 

* * *

**Nothing would ever be enough to control the twist of his heart when he would be forced to write yet another name in the book that he kept safely hidden in his bedside table. If the name was Erwin’s, then the terror of the Titans wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to his grief.**

**Death may have been inevitable, but Levi was nothing if not stubborn. It had reached for him countless times, and as long as he could still hold a weapon, he knew that he would fight against it with everything that he had.**

**He had no other choice; survival was in his blood.**


	3. The Third Truth is Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scouts attempt to capture a Titan, but the mission goes horribly wrong. Levi lets his guard down around Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished the third chapter, so here it is! I had to fudge some of the details a little bit- I had a specific story that I wanted to tell. Happy reading!

**There are only a handful of things that Levi Ackerman knows to be true.**

**Third, the rhythm of rain is a terrible sound.**

**It was raining the day that he lost Isabel and Furlan. It was raining the day that his mother died.**

**Over the years, he learned that water is the only thing that erodes at memories the way that time does; all traces of blood, and death, and even the screams of the dying are washed away by the steady pounding of raindrops. It is inevitable, and it is ruthless.**

**Levi has lived long enough to believe that no one is gone forever as long as he can keep a memory of them locked away. But the rain dredges up memories that he couldn't forget, even if he wanted to.**

**But Erwin loves the rain, and sometimes Levi wonders if he could learn to love it too.**

* * *

The sound of raindrops was still jarring to Levi, even after years of living above ground. Rain brought nothing but misfortune to the Underground, and he often had to remind himself that he no longer had any reason to brace against an incoming tide of water. 

When he was a child, rain would start as small waterfalls, dripping steadily down from cracks in sewers, in any openings in the ground, down the stairwells that led to the world above. It would start out small, as a flood always did, until suddenly water would pour down in white sheets, soaking into the streets. 

The air would grow cold and scent with metal and dirt, and anything else that the water had passed through to filter down to the bottom of civilization. Houses would flood entirely, and the streets would become a quagmire of muck and water, forcing the shutdown of major thoroughfares and some of the shops that Levi loved most. 

When he was seventeen, the specialty goods shop had flooded, and Levi had stood outside in the muck, unable to tear his eyes away from the expensive, rare tins of fine tea that had floated down the street, travelling towards the poorest section of the city. He’d stooped to pick up one of the tins with the hope of salvaging it, but it had been ruined by the muck and the water. The mess had felt caustic on his skin as it had dripped down his forearm, and he’d been unable to resist the urge to cleanse himself of it. 

He’d never forgotten the scent of the ruined leaves, drowned in filth before they’d had the chance to meet their full potential. 

It had felt like some kind of cruel metaphor. 

The worst part of the flooding was always the sight of water pouring down the staircases, mocking the inhabitants of the city as if to say: “ _it’s futile to fight against the current, how could you ever find the strength to overcome the weight of the water?”_

Misfortune trickles downwards, as they say, cast off of the shoulders of the rich and the lucky, and it always lands on those who cannot afford it. 

The first time that Levi had felt rain on his face, he’d trembled from the weight of it-

The tree next to him rustled, pulling him out of his dark thoughts. He’d been settled in his position for several hours, and he’d rapidly descended into a contemplative mood. He turned his attention to the task at hand, nodding as a Scout appeared out of the leaves to report. 

“Captain, there’s a group of three Titans headed this way,” Miche called, tapping down on the branch directly opposite Levi. His nose twitched, and he tapped it with his index finger.

Levi was currently nestled up in the top branches of a sturdy pine, and he flicked his gaze over the section of forest below that Miche had indicated. 

He impatiently wiped water off of his face. 

“Are any of them good enough?” Levi asked bluntly. 

“No. They’re too small,” Miche said, sharing a loaded glance with Levi that spoke volumes about his opinion of the assignment. “The footsteps aren’t heavy enough. There’s no yellow flare, just a green one.”

Levi nodded, already working out the best plan of attack. His temples ached. 

Surfacing from his memories always left him with a strange pressure behind his sinuses; Levi chalked it up to another horrible night’s sleep. 

“Take care of them. Gunther, Petra, follow for support.”

He flicked his wet hair out of his eyes and surveyed the forest, taking note of the dripping leaves around him. Rain had a nasty habit of concealing the movement of some smaller Titans; however, it had the benefit of muddling the scent of the Scouts. 

He supposed that he should be grateful for that. 

The three Titans, as promised, ambled through the forest beneath them. Their vacant, cruel gazes were glued to the tree canopy where their small elite group was hidden. Levi’s eyes narrowed at the first glimpse of their lolling eyes and wickedly sharp teeth. 

The first Titan was down and dealt with before he’d had a chance to blink; Miche had taken the opportunity to call the first kill of the day. 

His attention was snagged by Petra shooting across his sightline. Her coppery hair flew out behind her as she lured the 3 metre Titan away from the main group. Gunther’s blades flashed as he drove his grappling hooks into the taller five meter Titan, sending it stumbling as he mercilessly carved out the top of its spine. Even though no one looked up at him, Levi nodded his approval- it had been a clean kill, with very little fuss. 

So far, the day had been promising, in spite of the weather. 

The Scout regiment had managed to make it to the small forest in one piece, which was always a good start. Levi knew better than to assume the rest of the day would go as planned, but the start usually set the morale. 

There had been too many Titans milling around the walled city of Trost to start from there, so they had taken the long way around, exiting instead out of one of the small districts that had been built outside the walls proper. They’d traveled to an intermediate evergreen forest that lay about fifteen miles south of Krolva district, on the West side of Wall Rose. 

Their first order of business was to recover a weapon cache that had been abandoned along with the plans to build a settlement outside the Walls before the fall of Wall Maria. It had been left hidden in the trees. 

Their second order of business was the one that had annoyed Levi. They needed cover for what they were about to do. Capturing a Titan was always a risky play. 

Levi’s squad was currently as safe as they could be, given that they were sitting deep in Titan territory. 

He cast a quick glance around, but Erwin hadn’t doubled back to rejoin their party yet. He wasn’t impressed that Erwin was out of his sight, especially since their last excursion outside the Walls had manufactured too many close calls for Levi’s comfort. 

Erwin had an annoying habit of ignoring his own safety and bearing down on the middle of a fight with some speech about freedom, and Levi already had enough to do without having to worry that he was going to get himself killed because he’d failed to look both ways before he leapt towards the vanguard. 

Yes, Levi loved him for his bravery, and no, he still didn’t want to deal with saving Erwin’s ass whenever he decided that it was time to play the hero on a white stallion. He was too important to lose. 

(Well, Erwin rode a white gelding, but that was neither here nor there.)

He was even more irritated by the fact that Hange had dragged more than half of the regiment out here to capture a mid-sized Titan. Levi hadn’t been keen on the idea in the first place; he preferred to avoid putting any of his soldiers in danger, and this situation was just asking for trouble. 

Why they couldn’t have just waited until a Titan wandered into the abandoned village outside of Trost and taken it down there, he didn’t know.

Levi sighed. 

Actually, he did know. Hange loved the thrill of the hunt and being able to see what a Titan could do before they chose their test subject. They liked to see the whites of the Titan’s eyes before they ripped them open. 

Levi focused on the forest, watching the ground closely for any signs of movement. Hange practically vibrated with excitement on a neighboring branch, and he almost allowed a small, mocking smile to ghost across his mouth as they turned to him, their glasses flashing in the early morning light. 

“Anything?”

“Not yet,” Levi muttered, sparing a glance to his left. His team stood quietly, scattered amongst several large trees. Eld shook his head once, indicating that he hadn’t yet spotted any flares from the surveillance team. 

Levi fought the urge to roll his eyes as Hange stuck their bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout and fiddled with the straps on their ODM gear. He glanced upwards, scowling at the dark clouds that rolled in from the south. Hange fidgeted again. 

“Tch. Just be patient,” Levi said sharply, turning his head to look at Hange. He wasn’t feeling overly cheerful this morning due to the weather, so his fuse was very short at the moment. He would have preferred paperwork over freezing his ass off for his eccentric friend. 

But, he couldn’t say that Hange’s demands were ever boring. It was better than sitting around with their thumbs up their asses, he supposed. 

“Levi, what were you thinking about?” Hange asked suddenly, tucking a strand of their hair behind their ear as they peered up at him.

Levi lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “The weather.”

“Ah.”

He didn’t have to say anything more; Hange knew how he felt about wet weather, and they certainly knew about Furlan and Isobel. 

“You done staring at me?” He asked bluntly, glaring at Hange over his shoulder as their gaze grew a bit too intense. 

“Oh, sorry, sorry,” they said sheepishly, flapping a hand in supplication. “I got lost in my thoughts. Y’know, Titans emit so much heat that we could consider using them as a power source if we could harness the steam, maybe even use them to power the gates-“

They cut off as they caught sight of the disdainful expression on Levi’s face. Hange cleared their throat and adjusted their cloak, grinning wolfishly as they changed the subject to something that Levi was willing to talk about.

“Fine, fine, I’ll focus. Are your soldiers all clear on the plan?”

“It’s simple. Capture an eight metre Titan. Don’t get any soldiers killed. Got questions, Four-Eyes?” Levi replied dully, raising one eyebrow as they shook their head and reached down to modify the position of the switches on their gas triggers. 

Levi didn’t miss that they’d adjusted their nozzles to open; he knew where that was headed, and he was in no mood to chase them down if they decided to launch into a mania-induced chase, yelling about the wonders of science. 

He’d done that too many damn times already. 

“Don’t,” he warned, turning the force of his annoyed gaze on them, “Don’t make me waste my gas on you.”

“Come on, Levi,” Hange wheedled, flashing an unrepentant grin. “What if we brought two back-“

“No. We didn’t bring a second capture wagon. Sitting this far out from the Walls with this kind of weather is bad enough.”

“Please?”

“No chance. Drop it, idiot.”

Levi was about to continue berating them when a bang echoed through the forest to their left. He searched the sky, sucking in a breath when he saw the pigment bloom of a yellow flare.

“Move out,” he ordered, squeezing his triggers as he launched his body off the branch. The air quickly filled with gas exhaust as the squad followed his orders, travelling at top speed towards where the flare had been fired. Just as promised, they swung into a large clearing where another group of soldiers had lured five mid-sized Titans into the forest. 

The other soldiers left the acquisition to Levi’s team, streaking through the forest towards their mounts as planned. 

Levi didn’t hesitate to accelerate as he flipped one blade over in his hand, knife-edge out as he twisted, throwing his body into a spin as he allowed his momentum to carry him towards the closest Titan. His blades bit into its neck, neatly shearing off the top of its spine. He followed it downwards, waiting until the last possible second to anchor his grappling hooks into the thigh of the next Titan. 

“Keep one alive!”

Levi barely noticed that he’d let out a roar of effort as his blades tore through the quad of that Titan, forcing it to drop to its knees as he hit his triggers, directing them to quickly rewind themselves. He shot upwards, shredding the Titan’s entire spine as he travelled towards the nape. He dispatched it with two quick, merciless cuts to the top of the spine. 

It fell heavily, steaming so profusely that his vision was slightly obscured. His eyes narrowed. 

Levi didn’t stop to think about it, just switched the direction of his ODM trigger and zipped backwards, up and away from any reaching Titans who had taken advantage of their momentary lapse in perception. From the steam and the calm of his soldiers, he surmised that the plan had worked. 

Only one Titan remained standing, and Miche swung back and forth in front of it, distracting it long enough for Levi to raise his hand to his lips and whistle shrilly. His team copied him, following the plan down to the letter. Just as they’d been trained to do, their horses exploded out of the trees, let loose by Erwin’s squad. 

Levi mounted quickly and flicked the blood off of his blades. Like clockwork, his soldiers mounted and made a beeline for the edge of the forest, back towards the walls. They wove between the trees, fleeing from the Titan who gave chase behind them. It was tall enough that they had to push the horses to keep at the perfect distance. 

_This had better be worth it_ , Levi thought grumpily, steering with his knees as he rose up in the saddle. 

_Where the fuck is Hange?_

Levi scanned the forest, nodding at Petra to fire off a green flare, signalling to Erwin’s team that they had captured the attention of a viable test subject. She obliged, and Levi saw her expression change from determined to extremely concerned in a matter of milliseconds. He tore his gaze away from her, already exasperated. 

He knew exactly what Petra had seen. 

“Oho!” Hange shrieked, zipping through the trees beside him, back towards where they’d been hidden before. “There’s another one behind us, and it’s _beautiful_ -“

“Hange-“

Levi’s yell of frustration was cut short as he caught sight of the Titan that Hange was talking about. It was an abnormal, and it made him bite out a curse. They hadn’t even seen it coming. 

It appeared to be able to partially brachiate as it thundered towards them, which was strange on its own. It was no wonder that Hange had a manic look in their eye; they smelled blood in the water and wanted to study that damn Titan more than they wanted to stay alive. All that Levi saw was death, and his expression hardened. 

“Don’t kill it!” Hange yelled, swinging through the trees. The Titan’s eyes followed them, and it increased its speed, angling directly for them. 

Levi didn’t have time to wonder if they’d caught the attention of this Titan on purpose. It was possible that it had been drawn to their location by the sounds of fighting or their scent. The rain made it difficult to tell. 

It was at least twelve metres tall, and it was faster than any normal Titan should have been. It wove through the trees with no effort, steadily gaining on them as it pushed past the eight meter Titan. The smaller Titan fell with a crash, struggling back to its feet as the abnormal Titan ran over it without a backwards glance. Levi cursed, spurring his horse on as they continued at top speed through the trees. 

“Captain, what’s the plan?” Eld roared, urging his horse to speed up. Levi glanced at Miche, who confirmed his fears with a nod of his head. He tapped his nose. There were more enemies incoming from the other side of the forest. Even with the pouring rain, Levi trusted that nose more than he trusted most people. 

Levi’s expression hardened. 

“Keep going! Warn the commander!”

Levi didn’t think twice before he launched himself out of the saddle. His grappling hooks exploded from their holsters, screeching as he flew through the air towards the abnormal. His blades sparked as he pulled them from their scabbards. The sound of the wind whistling past his ears sent him straight into an icy calm as he automatically flipped his right hilt, turning the wickedly sharp blade point out.

One enormous hand shot towards him, intent on catching him, but Levi was too fast. He allowed his vision to blur as he tore up the Titan’s forearm, using its roar of pain as fuel as his swords slashed deep into its skin. He adjusted his triggers and shot upwards until he was above the Titan. As soon as he caught sight of the top of its scalp, he released his hooks, deploying the triggers again to bury the pegs into the shoulder blades of the abnormal. 

It was unusually flexible, and Levi grunted with effort as it twisted around in an effort to dislodge the hooks, but Levi wasn’t having any of it. He shot downwards, slashing through the nape with a single well-timed cut. The abnormal let out a howl of pain as it crumpled, and that made the hair on the back of Levi’s neck stand straight up. 

That was alarming. Most Titans didn’t make noise, but if they did, it was sure to draw dozens more to their location. 

He zipped back into the forest canopy and landed silently, wiping Titan blood off of his face and blades with no small measure of disgust. 

The eight metre Titan finally caught up to him, and Levi shed his dulled blades, effortlessly replacing them with a well-timed downwards strike with his hilts. The new blades sparked as he unsheathed them, and he leapt off of the tree branch, angling for the Titan’s neck. 

It never even saw him coming. Levi had already slashed its nape and had returned to the trees before it had even registered his presence, casting a concerned glance around. No soldiers had been injured, but he knew that they were in for trouble when the trees around him began to shake independently from the tempo of the raindrops on their leaves. Titan footsteps were the only thing that could affect them that way. 

They needed to get back to the Walls, immediately. 

He couldn’t shake the unease that settled into his belly as Hange swung back into view, holding back their tears as they regarded the smoking abnormal Titan corpse that lay on the forest floor. 

“Aw, that one was going to be-“

“Shut up,” Levi hissed, glaring at them. He was teetering on the edge of furious, and Hange quieted when they saw the unforgiving edge to his stare. “We’re too far out from the walls. Stop putting me in the position to save your life, you idiot.”

“Come on, Levi, that one would have been better-“

“It was too risky. If it got out of the restraints it would kill dozens. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Levi-“

“Listen.”

Hange cut off as Levi put up a hand, tilting his head slightly to the side. His shoulders tensed as he listened closely. The rain made it difficult to tell, but he could have sworn that he heard the sound of breaking tree branches. His stomach clenched as a flock of birds just outside the forest burst into flight.

That only meant one thing out in the open. 

“The abnormal made a noise,” he snapped, jumping off the branch without waiting for Hange. “Any Titan within two miles knows that we’re here.”

Hange swore, and Levi had to agree with them. The entire operation was teetering on the edge of disaster, and they needed to act quickly to buy the Scouts time to escape. 

His horse waited obediently on the forest floor, dancing impatiently as he swung up into the saddle and ordered her into a gallop. Hange followed on their bay mare, sheepishly keeping their mouth shut as they thundered to meet the rest of the squadron. 

They exploded out of the trees, making for the group that couldn’t have been more than two hundred feet ahead of them. 

Hange’s gasp mirrored Levi’s feelings as they counted how many Titans were closing in on the main group from all sides. They’d been in the forest long enough for their cleared path back to Krolva District to be completely overrun. A five meter Titan had been dispatched by one of the fleeing soldiers, and Levi eyed its corpse with disgust as he skirted around it, preparing for another fight. 

The Titans running in from the surrounding countryside were still relatively far away, but their strides covered the distance quickly. Levi and Hange were close enough to hear the command post shouting orders, and urged their horses to meet up with the gear convoy. 

“Oi, get moving!” Levi roared, unrelenting in his pace as he sped through the gear wagons, making for the command column. “Forget catching one for now, just move your asses! Drop the water barrels if you have to!”

“Yes, Captain!” echoed around him as he neared the middle of the formation. Just as he suspected they would, several of the front squads released green flares, directing the whole regiment to the left as the pounding feet of three pursuing Titans closed in on the right flank. 

Levi couldn’t allow himself to be distracted; he trusted that the veterans on the right could handle the Titans. He heard frantic screaming from somewhere behind him, but he forced himself forwards. He couldn’t do anything to help anyone who was already dead.

He had to trust that the support squads could handle the situation. The screaming stopped, but he forced himself to continue without looking back. 

“Levi, I’m going to find my squad!” Hange yelled, waiting for his nod before they steered their horse sharply to the left, rejoining the formation on that flank. 

Rain poured in sheets around them as the regiment plunged into the countryside. 

The water blurred Levi’s long-range vision. They’d left the safety of the trees far behind, and now they were paying for it. 

The squelching of Levi’s horse’s hooves in the muck made a shiver of disgust roll down Levi’s spine, but he ignored it, wiping water out of his eyes as he lowered his hood, squinting to see better. He wasn’t imagining that fog had begun to seep over the countryside as the sky darkened. 

Levi swore and pulled up slightly as he got out of hearing range of the gear wagons. He gritted his teeth and resumed his pace, angrily cursing out the water that pelted his cheeks. Fog had begun to roll in from the lake three miles to the northwest, and there was nothing that they could do about it once it reached them. 

The only way out was forward. They would have to fly blind long enough to get themselves in range of the cannons on top of the walls. They didn’t have a chance if the group ended up scattered to the winds. 

Levi finally reached the centre of the command column, and the pressure on his chest eased somewhat as he caught sight of Erwin. He pulled his mare up next to Erwin’s horse, taking a very brief moment to be thankful that Erwin had gotten out of the forest in time. He had no idea what kind of mess was currently gaining on them. 

Erwin’s bright eyes were hooded as he made eye contact with Levi. His striking gaze wasn’t lessened by the rain, in fact it made Levi’s heart skip a beat as rain dripped through Erwin’s thick lashes, darkening them until they were sooty. 

“Were you successful?” Erwin called, not faltering in his speed as he fired off another flare, this time to the right as the left flank informed him of a new threat coming from that side.

“No,” Levi said bluntly, breathing hard as his unrelenting pace finally caught up to him. He impatiently wiped water off of his face. “We encountered an abnormal in the trees. It screamed when I killed it. Other Titans heard the sound and came running.”

“We succeeded in recovering the weapons on the outside edge of the trees,” Erwin replied. “It was not all for nothing.”

“Tch,” Levi responded, too focused on keeping his speed up to come up with a comment that accurately reflected his mood. 

“We may still have a chance,” Erwin said solemnly, loading another flare. “And Hange?”

“Might have caught its attention. Didn’t see it happen,” Levi called. His every word was clipped, and his meaning was clear. Erwin didn’t even need to ask to know exactly what he meant. 

“Hm. I need you on the right flank. Run support for that side, they’re in disarray. I haven’t received word that there were casualties-“

He cut off as a horse screamed. Levi’s eyes widened as the fog parted in front of them for just a moment. Blood sprayed through the air, scenting the rain with a hot, iron tang. Levi bit down on his disgust and drew his swords. 

There was a Titan inside the formation, and it threw itself towards them, its huge mouth outstretched. It spat out a half-eaten Scout as it neared them, gurgling loudly as blood streamed through its mouth. The enormous teeth glinted as the rain slicked their surface, and the shadow of its maw raced towards them. 

Levi yanked hard on his reins. They scattered. 

They managed to get out of range, but it had come too close for the horses to keep their training. The Titan slammed to the ground, already reaching out towards them as soldiers exploded out from the fog, intent on killing it before it reached Erwin. They were too far away. 

Erwin’s gelding shied, rearing up as it fought to pull itself out of Erwin’s iron grip on the reins. He fell, heavily, as it slammed down on its front hooves and bolted. Erwin’s grunt of pain made Levi see red, and he was moving before his brain managed to catch up. 

Levi didn’t even think, just allowed his instincts to guide him as he launched himself out of his saddle, freeing his mare from his commands, and anchored his grappling hooks into the back of the Titan, who was struggling to stand, stuck in a quagmire of mud and blood. 

It thrashed, reaching around to grasp for his ziplines, but he was too fast. Everything was a blur as Levi grunted, throwing his body high into the air before spinning in a tight corkscrew. The Titan fell heavily as he made contact, spraying blood and water everywhere as the nape of its neck landed twenty feet away. Levi wiped his blades and leapt off the corpse, making for Erwin’s prone form. 

He ejected his dull blades on the fly. 

From the looks of his badly twisted leg, Erwin had dislocated his knee. Levi was immensely thankful that he didn’t appear to have broken anything. A broken bone could mean a death sentence this far from the walls. 

Levi hurriedly ripped off a section of the bottom hem of his cloak. He wrapped it around Erwin’s ankle so tightly that Erwin let out a small grunt of pain. 

“How many dead?” Erwin gasped; his face was paler than Levi had ever seen it as he fought to keep his body from going into shock. Levi glanced around, taking stock of the body parts that lay scattered around them. There was one dead horse as well, and he clenched his jaw. Sorrow rose up in his chest as he recognized the dead soldiers, but he turned his attention back to Erwin. He didn’t have time to grieve. 

“Two.”

“We need to-“

“Hold your breath,” Levi instructed, twisting the fabric into a makeshift handhold. He jerked the twisted fabric quickly to the side and then pulled it back slowly, forcing Erwin’s knee back into position. Erwin’s grunt of pain was muted as he bore the pain with his characteristic stoicism. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed. “Almost done, just bear it.”

He untied the linen and then bound Erwin’s knee, careful to make sure that his kneecap was supported. Erwin would be in excruciating pain for the ride back, but so long as he didn’t pass out, he would be fine. He would be extremely sore for the next month or so, but as long as they got him out of the open, he would live. 

“I’m fine, Levi-“

“Shut the hell up, you’re not fine,” Levi hissed. “This was a stupid idea-“

“Just focus on returning to the walls. We can’t stay out here,” Erwin said bluntly, leaning forwards to rest his hand on Levi’s shoulder. “The weather is turning.”

“No shit. Can you ride?”

“I believe so. But if I cannot, you must leave me behind-“

“The hell I do!” Levi snarled, raising his hand to his lips. He eyed his fingernails, dark with blood and dirt, but he ignored it and pressed his fingers to his mouth, letting out two shrieking whistles. It was for Erwin’s sake- he could deal with a little bit of filth. 

The rumble of hoof beats made him relax slightly as both of their mounts trotted out of the fog. 

“Erwin!”

Levi’s head snapped up as Hange rode into view, also covered in Titan blood. They smoked slightly, and Levi realized that they were also bleeding out of a shallow head wound. His jaw clenched. 

“Hange. Report,” Erwin said tightly, wincing as Levi levered him upwards. Their height difference was laughable, but Levi glared at Hange, daring them to laugh at the fact that he was a foot smaller than the Commander. Hange leapt off their horse and helped Levi manoeuver Erwin into his saddle. 

Levi quickly took a detour and cut off the Reconnaissance badges from the dead soldiers, stuffing them into his pocket. He had no idea where the wagons were behind them, and they didn’t have the time to wrap the dead for transport. Silently, he thanked the soldiers for their service before he turned back to Erwin and Hange. 

“We’ve lost two soldiers,” Hange said miserably, remounting. They wiped blood off of their forehead, gesturing at the downpour around them. “Several horses bolted when the Titans appeared out of the fog, and two of our men were almost trampled by Titans hunting down the others. I got bucked off my horse.”

“Get moving then,” Levi snapped, already spurring his horse. “If we lose visibility and our coordinates, we’re fucked.”

“Thank you, Levi, for that rousing speech,” Erwin muttered drily. “How far are the walls?”

“Ten miles, by my estimation,” Hange replied, wiping rainwater off of their glasses as they urged their mount into a gallop. 

“We’ll chance Trost,” Erwin yelled, wincing as he settled into the pace. Levi watched him closely for any signs of weakness, but his expression had darkened into one of determination. “Move forward at full speed!”

“We left some of the soldiers behind-“ Levi yelled, glancing over his shoulder. He could have sworn that he heard the clattering of wagon wheels, but he couldn’t be sure when the sound of a distant green flare sounded to their right, distracting him. 

“We cannot turn back! We need to buy them time to get to safety once we’ve reached the ruined village!” Erwin roared over his shoulder, expertly screwing another flare into his gun. 

Another green flare exploded, not fifty metres to the right. The bright spark that signaled the top of the flare was the only thing that marked where the soldiers were. The rain felt like it had kicked up another notch, and visibility quickly got worse as a dark cloud rolled over where they were travelling.

Levi swore quietly as he counted his blades. He only had two left on each side, and if the reserve wagons had been lost then he needed to use them carefully. His lip curled as his brain spat out the very real possibility that he would need to scavenge some spare blades off of a fallen comrade. 

Another flare, this one was on their left this time. 

Erwin’s response was to fire off a red flare and then a yellow one, signalling to all of their soldiers to flee back towards the walls. They took off at a breakneck speed, following the route that they’d marked out with bright blue signposts so many months ago, just in case the weather turned bad like it had today. All hope of capturing a Titan was lost; the only goal was to get everyone back alive. 

Miles melted away, but Levi didn’t let his guard down for a second. He strained to hear through the rain, and twice they had to perform evasive formations as Titans loomed out of the rapidly thickening fog. Levi was forced to kill two more Titans.

The temperature dropped, and Levi’s breath puffed out of his mouth in white clouds. His mount’s withers rippled below him. She panted hard, her lungs expanding like an enormous bellows, propelling them through the grasslands that surrounded the land just beyond the Walls. 

Finally, a dark shadow appeared in the horizon, looming upwards as they neared it. Levi’s heart sank as the concussion blast from the cannons atop the walls roared through the air, setting his ears to ringing. 

There had to be fighting at the base of the entrance to Trost. Explosions shook the ground, making it hard to tell where the thick of it was coming from. A cannonball shrieked through the air above them, landing squarely in the middle of a three meter Titan’s chest as it ran after Erwin’s squad from the east. 

It fell, steaming heavily. 

“Forward!” Erwin roared, firing off a rare black flare. They were usually only used to signal abnormals, but the cannons needed to stop firing long enough for the Scouts to get to safety. The cannons quieted immediately, but Levi heard the sound of bells ringing in Trost as soldiers were ordered to stand at attention. 

They would have reinforcements if they needed them, but that was just going to cause another problem; more people meant that they needed to keep the gates open longer, and with Titans hunting them, they couldn’t let them get close to the entrance. 

The edge of the abandoned village swam into view as they rounded the top of the last hill. The fog began to clear, and Levi finally saw what they were dealing with. His jaw clenched. The vanguard was already fighting the Titans who had already been scratching at the base of the wall, and it appeared to be the case that most of the formation had made it here as well. 

He could celebrate that later; right now he needed to fight. 

ODM gear wires shrieked as they shot every which way above their heads. Scouts fought in tight groups as they systematically laid waste to the Titan numbers within the village.

Levi, Erwin, and Hange thundered down the main street of the once intact settlement. Levi hopped up onto his saddle, trusting his horse to remain calm as he aimed his triggers for the roof of a nearby house. He shot upwards, leaning into the jump. His blades clinked in their holsters, and he twisted his body, only tapping down on a gutter long enough to give himself enough momentum to launch himself to the right, towards the fighting. 

He couldn’t afford to waste any gas. 

He skidded across a rooftop towards the thick of the fighting, already spinning his blades around in his hand. 

Titan after Titan fell to his blades, shaking the ground as their great, bloated bodies slammed onto the damaged houses, breaking what was left of several heavily damaged structures. Levi’s squad quickly found and joined him, working seamlessly together to distract, isolate, and destroy the dozen Titans that were still alive. 

As Levi ejected his last blades, he took a frantic look around, searching for Erwin and Hange. He finally spotted them, out of the way of the fighting. His eyes widened as he realized that they’d found the supply wagons; they hadn’t lost them after all. Erwin was still up on his horse, but Levi knew that his adrenaline wouldn’t hold out for long. 

Levi took the opportunity to shoot towards them, skidding to a stop in front of the wagons as he leapt into the back of one of them, rummaging around for a new set of blades. He found them quickly, and also snagged two new gas canisters as he did so. 

There wasn’t time to chat; he was pissed, and wet, and very tired of having to deal with the mess that the mission had turned into. He leapt off the back of the wagon, settling his new canisters in place when Erwin spurred his horse towards him and called out. 

“Levi, leave one alive.”

Levi stopped buckling in his canister and raised his unimpressed gaze to Erwin’s. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Today can’t have been for nothing,” Erwin said bluntly, sighing deeply as Hange trotted up beside him. “Hange’s research is the only thing that can make up for today’s sacrifice. We were able to bring back some lost gear from a cache on the way, but we need that Titan.”

“Fine,” Levi said shortly, turning on his heel. “Do we still have the nets?”

“No,” Hange said miserably. “The supply squad had to dump them to keep out of range of the Titans that chased them. They can’t be too far behind. Miche says that he thinks there are at least two dozen more on the way.”

Levi swore. Without waiting for another response, he aimed his triggers and exploded into the air. He rejoined his squad, relaying the orders with his usual clipped impatience. 

“Leave that one to me,” he ordered, pointing at a mid-sized Titan that was prowling two streets over. “Kill the rest.”

“And the Titans that are incoming, Captain?” Petra asked, landing right beside him after finishing off a ten meter titan. She wiped blood from her face. Levi shook his head and pointed at the flood of distant Titans.

“Don’t waste your blades. Fire off a white flare to open the gates the second that the last one hits the ground. Only engage with the threat if they’re too close to the gate!”

“Roger!”

Levi didn’t allow himself to think as he ran straight for his target. He heard a hidden Titan move before he saw it. He switched his triggers to point backwards in a purely instinctive movement. Wooden beams creaked in protest as the Titan on the other side shifted. 

A huge hand snaked around a corner, reaching for him, but he snapped his body backwards out of its range before he slammed the forward button while depressing the gas. Levi lunged forward and slashed straight through the giant fingers without stopping. He dashed up the forearm of that reaching Titan, roaring with effort as he mercilessly tore out its eyes, spinning around the back of the neck to line up his final strike. 

It didn’t happen often, but Levi was starting to tire. Adrenaline ebbed through his muscles, allowing him to ignore any exhaustion; it was a matter of time before it caught up to him, but Levi wasn’t done yet. 

With another slash, the nape was gone, and Levi continued on towards his target, flicking blood from his blades as the heat of the Titan blood on his cheeks made his stomach clench. He wiped it away with one hand to prevent the steam from obscuring his vision before he anchored his catches in a chimney and bore down on the Titan that he’d been following. 

It didn’t see him coming. He slashed at its ankle tendons first, sending it toppling towards the ground as the weight of its upper body overwhelmed its lower mass. Next were the hamstrings, then he ripped through the muscles that connected its shoulders to its arms, leaving them useless. As the Titan fell, it turned its head to stare helplessly at Levi, who didn’t flinch as he sawed through the muscles that held its jaw in place. 

The mouth dropped open, held together by only a few tendons and the column of its throat. 

Levi took to the air again and landed on the house next to it, ejecting his blades with disgust as he flicked his wet hair out of his eyes. Titan blood had soaked into every fibre of his clothes, but he ignored it; it would disappear in a matter of minutes. 

The Titan below him moaned softly, its eyes rolling frantically as it writhed on the ground, trying to get up. Levi watched it with disgust. The rain was coming down so hard that it was splashing in the streets. 

He glanced around and was pleased to see that the rest of the Titans at the base of the wall had been taken care of. From this angle, it didn’t appear that they’d taken any casualties. A white flare was fired from the edge of the village, and he let out a breath that he hadn’t realized that he’d been holding. 

His heart sank as he gazed into the distance, back towards the forest, as he saw the tell-tale forms of Titans approaching from the south. He reached into his pack and took out the only two flares that he was carrying. He held a black one, used only in emergencies, but this was one of those times when he didn’t give a fuck about protocol. In his other hand he held a green flare. 

Levi raised his arm and fired that one first, indicating to Erwin that the Titan was ready for them to restrain it in the capture wagon. 

They needed to get this Titan and their troops behind the Walls as quickly as possible. They only had a limited amount of time before the Titan at his feet healed enough to start trying to eat them again. 

He quickly reloaded his flare gun and loosed the second black flare. It shot into the sky, exploding at the top of its arc with a concussion that made his ears ring. There was a reason that they made those ones with more gunpowder. Immediately, the cannons atop the wall began to fire again, aiming at the Titans that were still steadily making their way towards them, drawn by the sounds of fighting and the scent of blood. 

Hange’s squad appeared at the other end of the street, leading the wagon that held the remaining gear to restrain the Titan. Levi kept a watchful eye out, tensed to fight as they quickly roped two horses to a large metal yoke and used their grappling hooks to anchor it deep into the muscles of the prone Titan. In no time at all, it was trussed up with wires and large metal spokes as Hange and Moblit pulled a huge tarp over top of the Titan, obscuring it from view. The fabric immediately expanded as the steam inside filled up the small space. 

The movement underneath the tarp stilled slightly as the lack of light began to affect the Titan, and Levi’s eyes narrowed. It looked like another one of Hange’s theories had panned out.

“Move out!” 

He heard the rumbling of the enormous gate opening behind them, and he flanked the capture wagon, ensuring that nothing would get in their way as they raced towards the gate, which had opened up only enough to allow the tallest wagon to pass through. 

Erwin led the way on his gelding, roaring for the soldiers to retreat. They moved as a forest-green wave, some choosing to scale up the Walls to allow as many horses as possible to pass through the small entrance, while their comrades guided the horses inside on long bridles that they’d brought along for precisely this reason. Several dozen soldiers stayed behind long enough to scoop up the wounded and any discarded blades. They could be melted down and re-forged into new ones; they were a precious resource worth the risk. 

Levi hit the ground running, glancing around the houses as he went. He finally spotted what he’d been looking for; his heart sank as he caught sight of a cloak sticking out from behind a crushed house. It only took him a few seconds to recognize the fallen soldier by her long black hair, and he silently thanked her as he tore her badge from her jacket sleeve and put it in his pocket. 

The gates rumbled, indicating to Levi that almost all of the soldiers were safely on the other side. With a grunt of effort, he leapt into the air, relying on his years of experience to loose his hooks at precisely the right moment. He shot upwards, moving in an arc towards the wall as he flicked the gas nozzle to point downwards by clicking a button. He accelerated. 

Rain pelted his face, but he ignored it as he released his hooks and fired them again. Levi’s heart pounded as his body fought the upwards momentum, but he increased his pace and continued upwards, travelling at top speed up the wall. 

Cannons fired above him, and his brow furrowed as he timed his ascent. As soon as the cannon mouths flared again with the gunpowder flash and the blast of the missiles sounded, he opened his outtake to full throttle and shot his hooks into the top of the wall, right underneath the lip were the cannons were perched. He launched himself upwards, just in time, as the soldiers who manned the cannons looked up in surprise. They held off on another shot to give him time to get to safety. 

Levi landed, feet braced to balance his weight as he flicked his hair out of his eyes. It wasn’t his first time taking this route, and no one challenged him. They knew who he was. 

The wall shook ever so slightly as the gate slammed back into place. Levi glanced over his shoulder at the wreckage behind them. The fog was slowly returning, obscuring the Titans who were still making for the wall with horrible grins on their vacant faces. They’d already reached the outskirts of the village; the humans had retreated just in time. 

His lip curled into a snarl before he was moving again, seeking out Erwin and Hange. It didn’t take long to find them, he could see Erwin’s gelding from the top of the wall. 

Levi stepped off the edge, ignoring the swooping of his stomach as he plummeted towards the houses far below him. He didn’t feel like living on the edge any more today, so he deployed his hooks sooner than he normally would have as he descended to the rooftops. 

He hopped onto one of the houses closest to the Wall and ran to catch up with Erwin’s group. Levi’s expression hardened as he pressed his triggers, taking to the air to move faster. He could hear the confused milling about of the civilians, and he increased his pace. 

He was willing to do just about anything to avoid the questions about what they were doing beyond the wall and why they’d entered in such a hurry. The cannon fire had quieted, which was a big help. There would be hell to pay once Commander Pixis had heard what they’d done. 

Levi finally reached Erwin and leapt down from the rooftops, jogging to mount onto his mare, who was being quietly led by Erwin. 

“That was too fucking close,” Levi hissed, deliberately keeping his voice down as Erwin hummed a soft note of agreement. 

“I agree. Keep your head up. We need to get the test subject out of the city. No one can know that we’re carrying it.”

“Fine. Anything else?”

“Send any queries my way, I will deal with them,” Erwin said tightly. His face was pale with pain, and Levi almost regretted pelting him with questions. He thought better of it and continued, determined to get answers so that Erwin could rest. 

“We don’t have to explain shit. We have the clearance to do what we want,” Levi said bluntly, twitching his reins to the side as his horse side-stepped a vendor. 

“That is true, although I doubt the lords had this much cannon fire in mind when I was given my carte blanche. I suspect that I will be called to Stohess before the month is out,” Erwin said lightly, tilting his head towards the front of the column. He’d quite effectively ended the conversation, and Levi tapped his mare with his boots, preparing to relay orders to his subordinates. 

Hange, mercifully, remained quiet, nodding at Levi in thanks as he spurred his mare towards the front of the column. He slowed as their group reached the inner gates, waiting impatiently for the second gate to open to allow them to pass into the countryside. Distant orders were barked, and stone ground against stone as the gate began to move, so slowly that Levi couldn’t suppress an eye roll. 

“Captain,” Eld said quietly, acknowledging Levi with a nod as he tugged on his reins, moving his bay mare to stand beside Levi’s. “Your orders?”

“Get the Titan to the research camp. Remain with Hange’s squad until I send word,” Levi replied quietly. “Erwin’s injured. Don’t expect to leave the walls for a while. Tell Miche and Gunther to head to the garrison and fend off any questions that don’t come from the top.”

“And the truth of why we came back via Trost?”

Levi blew out a long breath, quickly reaching the end of his patience. “We have leave from Mitras to do whatever the fuck we need to do. Don’t let a half-wit bully sergeant get anything out of you. Clear?”

“Understood.” Eld glanced to the side. “How many casualties?”

“Too fucking many,” Levi grunted, fighting to control his temper as his exhaustion rolled over him in a wave. “If Hange kills that Titan too quickly, they’re going to have me to answer to. Keep the Titan quiet, and don’t let anyone get too close to it. Kill it if it gets dangerous.”

Eld nodded, nudging his mare into a trot as the gates opened. Levi moved his mount to the side, watching silently as the column of Scouts thundered through, exiting into the lands within Wall Rose. Finally, Erwin and Hange approached the gate. Levi saw them talking quietly, but he was too tired to care. 

His annoyance quickly returned as the civilians around them continued to point and stare, starting to gather in small groups around the gate. Levi couldn’t really blame them for being worried; they had shown up without warning, protected by heavy artillery. 

He sat unmoving on his horse for a moment, waiting. 

Erwin finally stopped his horse beside Levi’s. Hange turned in their saddle to wave excitedly as they passed through the gate, spurring their horse to catch up with the captured Titan. Levi and Erwin stood silently for a moment, waiting until the gate had closed behind the Scouts before Erwin spoke. 

Levi was too irritated to start the conversation with something civil, so he waited. Water trickled down the back of his neck, and he impatiently wiped it away. 

“Hange has insisted that I return home to be patched up,” Erwin started, completely ignoring the water that dripped down the bridge of his nose. 

“You thought you were gonna go dancing?” Levi said bluntly, not bothering to temper the annoyance in his tone. Rain dripped off of his ruined cloak, and he turned his head to glare at Erwin. 

“Hardly. We succeeded by too narrow a margin today, Levi. I believe that we should discuss-“

“Oh you’ll get an earful from me,” Levi said darkly, completely uncaring that he’d just interrupted Erwin. "Bet on it."

“Very well. Please come by my home at your earliest convenience. I’ll be waiting,” Erwin replied softly, glancing at Levi with those frustratingly beautiful eyes of his. They were filled with a barely-restrained sorrow, and Levi knew that Erwin could see that he was fighting to keep himself together. 

Now that they were safe, Levi needed a moment alone to himself, and Erwin understood that perfectly. With a nod, Levi nudged his horse into a trot, making for the barracks and the stables. He moved through the smaller civilian gate, taking comfort in the sound of his horse’s hooves on the wooden boards of the bridge that led over the river that ran through Trost. 

He dismounted and led his mare into the stables on the far side of town, losing himself in the monotony of removing her saddle and bridle and then grabbing a small step stool to brush the sweat and muck from her coat. Levi let himself be caught up in the calming, deep breaths that his mare took, drawing strength from how steady she always was. 

He cleaned the muck from her hooves, swatting her nose away affectionately as she lipped at his hair with annoyance. Finally, as he wiped the last of the mud from his tack, he allowed himself to think about the badges that lay heavily in his pocket, reminding him that five good soldiers had lost their lives for the sake of one fucking Titan. 

He fought for calm as he closed the door to the stables and strode quickly to the barracks. He removed his gear and replaced his blades in the appropriate locker, closing the padlock with a key that he slipped back into his pocket. In no time at all, he had exited the barracks and made his way home. 

He hated the peace inside the walls whenever he came back from an expedition; things were always so quiet that it made him wonder if he’d imagined all of the horrors of the journey. 

Levi’s house was small, tucked away in a back corner of the outer city, but he didn’t mind. It faced the east, and he liked watching the sun rise through the window in his office. Well, technically it was a bedroom, but he barely slept anyways. He was always up to watch the sun peek over the top of the walls. 

Levi unlocked his front door, already dreading the paperwork that awaited him. He felt that it was his responsibility to make sure that the dead were properly remembered, and he intended to handle the death reports and make sure that the families received the pension that the soldiers customarily left to them. Normally Erwin would sign the documents, but he needed to see it done. 

Levi didn’t want to burden Erwin with anything more today, not after he’d been injured. This was something that he could do, even when his eyes ached and his heart was heavy. It was as much closure as he was likely to get. 

He closed the front door and slumped down against it, sliding to the floor as his exhaustion slammed into his muscles. The deafening silence of his house pressed down on him from all sides, and he wrapped his arms around his legs, pressing his forehead against his knees as he struggled to pull air into his lungs. 

The screams and the death rattles of the mortally wounded echoed in his ears, and he trembled, fighting to keep his grief from drowning him. His chest burned, and his eyes prickled with the weight of unshed tears, but he couldn’t bring himself to cry. Anger raged in his gut, hot and vicious as he committed the names of the dead Scouts to memory. 

The never-ending rain pounded on the roof; it tormented him as he recited the names over and over again until he was satisfied that he wouldn’t forget them. He’d scanned the group of Scouts who had been waiting at the inner gate, so he was sure that he knew exactly who was gone. 

_Viktor Romanova. Milena Rober. Thomas Hilstein. Lila Nagel. Gerald Flocket._

Levi finally managed to find the strength to pull himself to his feet. He slowly walked to the stove and rummaged around for a match, lighting the pilot flame in the oven. He reached over to the kettle that he always kept full and waiting and set it over the flame after he turned the gas nozzle, allowing a small circle of dancing blue flames to bloom in the grate. 

Levi ran a hand through his hair, his lip curling in disgust as his emotions finally calmed enough for him to register that he was covered in mud and Titan blood stains. The bulk of it had already evaporated, but the iron and pigment remained, scenting his skin with metal. Levi was moving towards his small bathroom before he’d really thought about it, and he quickly shed his soiled clothes, throwing them as far away as he could before he turned the dial of the pipes on and set the water to nearly as hot as it would go. 

He stepped under the shower stream, hissing as the near-scalding water hit his skin, but the warmth seeped immediately into his muscles, sending a shiver down his spine. He braced his arm against the tiled wall, breathing slowly and deeply as the hot water washed away the chaos of the day. After a few moments, he found the strength to palm his soap and scrub brush, working methodically to scour away the dirt, blood, and the weight of failure that had settled into his pores. 

Eventually, he was forced to return to reality as his skin informed him that he was dancing on the edge of burned, and he shut off the water, wiping water drops from his face. He glanced down at his forearm, and his expression hardened at the sight of the vapor drifting upwards from his skin as he encountered the cold air outside of the stall. 

His mind flashed back to the Titan that had exploded out of the fog. 

Hurriedly, he grabbed a towel and scrubbed at his skin, ignoring the discomfort as the towel dragged along his already inflamed skin. He wrapped the towel around his waist and used his palm to wipe the condensation away from his mirror. 

His ancient grey eyes stared back at him, surrounded by his usual dark circles. There was a weight to his gaze that hadn’t been there that morning, and Levi turned away from his reflection, hating that his emotions lay so close to the surface. He wasted no time striding back into his room and to his dresser, grabbing clean clothes. 

He put them on quickly, not bothering to take his time. The fabric dragged along his skin, reminding him of the exhaustion that had quickly asserted itself as soon as he’d allowed his tough façade to crumble away. He didn’t bother to put his boots on. He had a while before he intended to leave his home again. 

The rain continued, and he stared out the small window in his office, hating it. Even as his emotions rioted just under the surface of his skin, he still couldn’t bring himself to cry. Staring outside made it worse; somehow it felt like the skies were taunting him. 

Sighing deeply, Levi trudged to the kitchen, pulling the kettle off of the flame right before it reached the whistling stage. He reached up into his cupboards, carefully removing a china tea cup and saucer before he gently placed them on the counter. He quickly extracted a tin of tea from the next cupboard, pouring a small spoonful of the leaves into a small muslin bag. He placed it into the teacup and poured the water, greedily inhaling the scent of the tea as it immediately began to steep. 

The earthy, sweet smell that rose up on wispy tendrils of steam did wonders for the tension in his shoulders, and he relaxed slightly, watching as the tea diffused into the water, turning it a striking shade of amber. As soon as he was satisfied that it was ready, he removed the teabag, carefully placing it into the sink as he palmed the saucer and cup and made his way into his office. 

He sat heavily at his desk, cradling his head in his hands for a long moment before he stood up and walked to his disorderly pile of discarded clothes. He placed his trousers, shirt, cravat and jacket into the hamper for washing and picked up his ruined cloak. He turned the cloak over, until the rich green lining faced out, and then he dipped his hand into the pocket, retrieving the three badges that he’d been able to recover. 

They sat heavily in his hand, and he carefully laid them out on his desk, taking a moment to remember which badge came from which soldier. They’d all aged differently, carrying a signature of the owner in a sense. 

He sat down again, reaching into his desk for the waiting pile of records. Slowly, methodically, he inscribed the name of the soldier, their rank, and their cause of death. Next was the sworn officer’s declaration that they had died on the field of battle, and then the confirmation that their assets were to be distributed to their relatives as they had specified in their wills. Levi knew for a fact that Milena had no living family; he vaguely remembered a short conversation where she’d mentioned a school that she’d been particularly fond of. 

He added a note to inquire as to her involvement. He had a gut instinct that she would have liked to know that she’d made a difference in the lives of the children there. From what he remembered of her personality, she had been kind, always ready with a smile. 

There had been no smile on her lips when he’d found what was left of her. 

Levi punched down the sorrow that reared up, sharp and cutting in his chest, and forced himself to focus. Finishing this paperwork was the best that he could do for her memory. Usually Erwin would take care of it, but he didn’t want to burden him, not when he was injured. 

If he told himself that it wasn’t because he felt responsible for their deaths, he could almost believe it. 

Levi leaned back in his hair, rubbing his temples as he searched his memories for remnants of the rest of the soldiers and their families. None of them had served for more than three years in the Scouts, but he knew all of them well enough to have served as their commander at least once. There had been an influx of recruits after Wall Maria had fallen. 

His pen scratched along the paper, lulling him into a meditative state as he carefully filled out the reports, checking and double checking them before he placed them in an envelope for delivery to the military depot. 

Levi reached over to his left and finally took a sip of his tea, but it had gone cold. It was nothing but bitter now. He sighed deeply, replacing the cup in the saucer as he glanced out the window at the rapidly darkening sky. Once again, his house felt too fucking empty, and he fought to ignore the silence that felt like it was pressing on his chest. 

His mind flashed to Erwin. He’d almost lost him today. 

It was suddenly hard to breathe, and he stood up abruptly, bracing his arms on his desk as he fought to overcome the shaking of his hands. Levi couldn’t shake the nasty little voice in his head that informed him that it was his fault that three badges sat on his desk. There were two left out there somewhere, soaked with blood and pounding water. 

Their absence on his desk was almost painful, and Levi swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. He reached out and carefully gathered the badges, cradling them in his palm as he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out an unmarked box. 

He opened the lid and gently nestled the badges in amongst the dozens that already filled the space. There were so many in the box that he could barely fit the new ones inside. The strength melted from his knees as his exhausted mind flooded with the faces of the dead, smiling and saluting with enthusiasm. 

They’d had no idea that they would die, and they certainly hadn’t known that he would remember all of them. 

Levi closed the lid and took a moment to gather his thoughts. He knew that he was angry, but underneath it all swam a riptide of sorrow. Erwin’s words echoed in his mind, and he took a deep, steadying breath. 

_To die in service of humanity’s future is the greatest honor that any one of us could hope for. Continue onwards without any regrets, or fall where you stand._

It was a strangely comforting thought. 

He’d beat himself up enough for one day. They’d succeeded in their objectives; he couldn’t hope for anything more than that, not in the cruel, beautiful world that they lived in.

Picking himself up by the heartstrings, he stood and made his way to his front door, where he kept his spare cloak and short boots. His riding boots were soaked, and he doubted that having sodden feet would lift his mood. 

He quickly ate a piece of bread and an apple and palmed the documents that he’d filled out. He blew out the tiny flame that burned in his unused oven and pulled his hood up, preparing himself to return to the maelstrom that still hammered outside.

* * *

An hour later, Levi raised his hand and knocked at Erwin’s door. He carried a bag full of food that he’d picked up from the military depot after he'd delivered the reports. The mess hall had been serving hot vegetable stew and warm bread; Levi had stopped to bring some to Erwin, full well knowing that he had a soft spot for the rich brown bread that they served in the cafeteria. It was still warm in his hand, and he tapped his foot impatiently. The door flew open almost immediately, revealing a wild-eyed Hange. 

“You’re getting slow, Four-Eyes,” Levi muttered, raising one eyebrow. “What, do I still have mud on my face?”

“You’re finally here,” they said breathlessly, opening the door wider. Levi didn’t budge from the doorstep until they grinned sheepishly and moved aside to let him pass. He strode into the small house, already searching for Erwin. 

“What’s got you so worked up?”

“Nothing!” Hange said hurriedly. “I was just waiting for you to get here so that we can discuss what happened today-“

“Let me get my damn boots off,” Levi said tiredly, glancing at Hange out of the corner of his eye. “Where’s Erwin?”

“In here,” came the reply. The sound echoed from the back of the house, past the front sitting room. Levi didn’t bother to take his shoes off. He moved confidently towards the kitchen. 

The man in question was sitting at his kitchen table, his leg propped up on a chair. A dark bruise shone on his cheek, but he looked remarkably hale considering he’d ridden for miles with a dislocated knee. His leg was bandaged from his shin to his thigh. 

“Levi. You just missed the doctor,” Erwin said quietly, smiling wanly as Levi bustled into the kitchen, moving as if he owned the place. He certainly spent enough time here; it wasn’t like he didn’t know his way around Erwin’s kitchen. 

“You look like shit,” Levi said bluntly. He turned to the small kitchen counter and began to unpack the food, taking care to give Erwin the larger portion. He avoided Erwin’s intense stare; he could feel it burning into his shoulder blades. 

“I’m fine,” Erwin assured him. Levi’s hand tightened minutely on the cupboard handle; Erwin, as per usual, was too fucking talented at reading his mind. He’d heard the question in Levi’s tone loud and clear. 

“The damage to his knee isn’t as bad as we thought it might be. His healing time shouldn’t be too bad,” Hange sighed, plopping into the chair across from Erwin’s. Levi’s eyes narrowed when it dawned on him that they’d intentionally left the chair next to Erwin’s free for him. 

His cheeks flushed, but he hid his reaction, opening more cupboards to rummage around for plates and spoons. 

“How long?”

“A month to six weeks,” Erwin said slowly, accepting the bowl of soup that Levi placed in front of him. His eyes met Levi’s, and Levi nearly stumbled as Erwin’s hand brushed his, briefly squeezing in thanks as he turned to gather the other bowls. Levi reminded himself to breathe. 

He practically threw Hange’s bowl at them, shoving a plate with a slice of bread in their direction as well. 

“Thanks, Levi,” they said, resting their elbows on the table expectantly. “Aren’t you going to eat? We’ll wait for you-”

“I’ll be there in a minute. I busted my ass to get it over here warm, so don’t waste my effort,” Levi said bluntly, secretly pleased that they were determined to include him. Usually they all ate on the go, and sitting down together at dinner to talk wasn’t a chance that they had very often in the warmer months. 

It eased some of the tension in his chest. 

“Don’t just stare at me. Eat.”

He was grateful for the excuse to look away from Erwin. Levi finally plopped into the remaining chair and toyed with his spoon for a moment before speaking. Hange had already dug in, and he fought to keep a tiny smile from his lips. However, the subject of the conversation was sobering, and he stuffed a piece of bread in his mouth. He turned his unimpressed gaze on Erwin; he could practically hear Erwin’s mind turning at a breakneck pace. 

“We shouldn’t be going beyond the walls again this season,” he finally said firmly, glancing at Erwin through his eyelashes. “We can’t take the wagons out; if they get stuck we’re up shit creek.”

“I had planned on one more expedition,” Erwin said reluctantly. He took a bite of warm bread and chewed it thoughtfully before he continued. “There is one more weapons cache outside of Krolva.”

“It’s too dangerous,” Levi said bluntly. “It’s metal. It can wait.”

“I have to agree with Levi,” Hange interjected, waving their spoon around as they spoke. “We got too confident with the weather. It’s only going to get colder from here on out, and if you’re injured…”

They trailed off. 

“I am capable of traveling in one of the wagons,” Erwin began crisply, sighing deeply. “I believe that we can push farther south before the snow starts-“

“Absolutely not,” Levi interrupted. “If I have to dislocate your other knee to get you to sit your ass down and heal properly, I will. Don't tempt me.”

Erwin stared at him for a moment before his expression softened and a small, reluctant smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “Your bedside manner has improved.”

“Don’t give a shit,” Levi muttered, shaking his head. “We can’t chance you not healing properly.”

“We did manage to get a Titan today,” Hange said thoughtfully. “I can delay some of my more intensive experiments until after winter thaws out.”

“I suppose we could capture one just outside of Trost if we require another,” Erwin said reluctantly. He leaned forwards and tapped the table. “Do you have anything to report?”

“Not yet,” Hange sighed, pushing their empty bowl away. “The rain interferes with the sunlight experiments, and Levi injured it badly enough that it’ll take a full day to heal.”

“I'm not apologizing for that,” Levi said quietly, more under his breath than anything else. Hange cracked a small smile, and Erwin chuckled softly. It was quiet between them for a few moments as Erwin finished his meal, and he laced his hands together when he was finished. 

“I believe that you are correct. Based on today’s events, I officially put forth a motion to suspend all of the Scout’s activities until spring. Are you in favor?”

“I second,” Levi said immediately.

“I support the motion,” Hange replied. “I spoke to Miche and Eld before coming back, they agree as well. There won’t be any arguments from any of the other commanding officers.”

“Very well, the motion has passed onto the next stage. I will fill out the necessary paperwork to put the bulk of the corps on training leave for the next four to six months,” Erwin said. “Levi, any additions?”

“We need refresher training on capture procedures,” Levi said darkly, glancing at Hange. They had the good grace to blush. Levi recognized the glint in their eye; he knew that they were chomping at the bit to get back to the Titan, now that Erwin’s condition had been assessed. 

“Fine, fine, I deserved that,” they muttered, rising to their feet. “Erwin, do you need anything from me before I leave?”

“No. I’m afraid that I don’t have much left in me today,” Erwin said quietly, shaking his head fondly. “Don’t let us keep you from your Titan.”

“I’ll report any findings as quickly as possible, Commander!” Hange said quickly, saluting before they hurried from the room. Levi heard them clatter down the steps outside, and he turned, one eyebrow raised in silent reproach as Erwin smiled crookedly. 

“I’ll be the first to admit that nothing went as planned today, but Hange will discover something new about them, I have no doubt.”

Levi’s jaw clenched. “Anything else you want to add about today?”

Erwin glanced at him, and he must have seen the pain that shone in Levi’s eyes because he sighed and pushed his hair off of his forehead. It was damp, clearly from a recent shower, and Levi’s angry gaze followed the rough gold strands that glinted in the lantern light as he did so. 

“No. It does us no good to live in the past. I will speak with any of the grieving families that wish to know what happened tomorrow. I need to write the letters of condolence-”

“I took care of it,” Levi said shortly, standing abruptly. He rounded the table to where Erwin sat. 

He turned his head to look Erwin square in the eye as he took the empty bowls and plates from the table. He knew that Erwin’s gaze followed him when he turned to place them in the sink with a quiet clink. Levi braced his hands on the sink for a moment, closing his eyes to control the slight shaking of his hands.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Levi,” Erwin said softly. Levi’s shoulders tensed and he whirled around, crossing his arms across his chest. It was purely a reflex, but he couldn’t help it; he was still angry that so many soldiers had risked their lives for the sake of one damn Titan. 

“If you’d listened to me you wouldn’t have gotten injured. I warned you what might happen.”

“You were correct. However, I felt that the risk was outweighed by the reward.”

“It always is. Don’t ask me for my opinion next time if you aren’t going to like what I have to say. Get some rest,” Levi said bluntly, adjusting his cloak as he prepared to leave for the night. It was still pouring outside, and he wasn’t in the mood to get soaked again, but all he wanted to do was forget the entire day. The sun had set, and the sky was now an inky black. 

He took a step towards the front door. 

“Wait, Levi.”

He glanced over his shoulder at Erwin, who laboriously climbed to his feet. “I would prefer it if we didn’t leave things on bad terms.”

“We aren’t. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

Levi’s stomach clenched as the lie left his lips, but Erwin saw straight through him. He always did. 

“I’m not making light of the lives that were lost today. I’m afraid that if I don’t distance myself from it, I’ll be overwhelmed by the weight of what I’ve done. It is not my intention to come across as cavalier,” Erwin murmured, glancing at Levi through his eyelashes as he carefully maneuvered his knee out from behind the chair where he’d been sitting. 

“I told you that the rain would make today more dangerous,” Levi snapped, unable to help himself. “You would have died if I’d been any slower getting to you.”

Erwin looked at him, his steady gaze studying every inch of Levi’s face. Levi held eye contact, seething quietly. Then Erwin turned his head for a split-second and Levi saw a muscle working frantically in his jaw. 

“That is true. I do not fear death, nor do I consider that each day might be my last, Levi. Not when you are by my side. I was so determined to protect humanity’s interests that I disregarded my own.” 

Levi’s lips parted in surprise. 

“Forgive me, for ignoring your opinion this morning when you gave it,” Erwin continued. “I was wrong.”

With that, most of Levi’s anger dissipated. His heart fluttered, and he cleared his throat, tearing his gaze away from the earnest apology that shone in Erwin’s striking eyes. He would never understand how he could look so ancient and so young at the same time. Erwin was a beautiful dichotomy in Levi’s eyes; a devil who took lives without pause, and a man who promised it as easily as he drew breath. 

Those were the two sides of the coin that Levi flipped every fucking day. Even he didn’t know which side would land face up. 

Levi sighed, and he closed his eyes briefly before he responded. “Promise me that we won’t make the same fucking mistakes again.”

“You have my word.”

Silence stretched out between them as Levi absorbed the apology. He wasn’t angry anymore. He’d been left with a bone-deep exhaustion instead, and he found himself speaking before his brain caught up to his mouth. 

“You need sleep.”

“I do,” Erwin admitted. “The doctor administered some willow bark, so I must confess that I am fighting a losing battle against the drowsiness.”

“You’re not getting up those stairs by yourself.” 

Erwin grimaced. “I hate to ask, but, yes, I suppose you’re right.”

“Do you want my help or not?” Levi asked bluntly, finally uncrossing his arms. Erwin smiled sheepishly, gesturing at his knee. 

“I think I’d be wise to accept it. Before it slips my mind, do you have any crutches? I’m afraid I’ve left mine in my officer's quarters-“

He cut off when he saw the thunderous look on Levi’s face. It took him a full three seconds before it occurred to him that any crutches that fit Levi would be no better than a cane for him, and his face reddened slightly. A smile danced around the corners of his mouth, and Levi felt his annoyance returning. 

“Shut up,” he grumbled, moving forwards to duck under Erwin’s arm before Erwin caught sight of the embarrassed flush that was currently burning across his cheeks. 

“Perhaps I should ask someone else,” Erwin said tightly, grimacing as he gingerly put some weight on his injured leg. He tensed against Levi, and he was immediately aware of how much pain Erwin was in. 

“Miche will have some that will fit,” Levi said dismissively, unconsciously looping his arm around Erwin’s ribs to steady him as Erwin hopped towards the stairs that led up to second floor, where he kept his bedroom and home office. 

Erwin hissed as he tried to put a little bit of weight on his injured knee. 

“Oi, oi, oi, you’re going to jostle it, just sleep downstairs,” Levi grunted, tensed to catch Erwin if he tipped to the side. Erwin’s face had paled from the pain, but he determinedly shook his head. 

“No. I would prefer to sleep in my own bed. If you don’t mind?”

“Already halfway there, moron,” Levi mumbled, more to himself than Erwin. He didn’t doubt that Erwin had heard him when he let out a tiny chuckle that quickly turned into a grunt of pain as he bumped his leg against the corner of the stairwell, despite Levi’s best efforts to keep him from getting too close to anything. 

Levi’s heart nearly stopped as Erwin’s hand gripped his shoulder when he hopped up the first step. Luckily, they didn’t have far to go, which Levi appreciated because a shiver ran down his spine as Erwin laced his fingers with his, holding tightly to him as Levi gingerly helped him take another step. 

“I should be good as new within a week."

“You think I'm stupid? I heard you say a month,” Levi said tightly. Erwin huffed out a sigh.

“I don’t suppose there will be a chance of you reducing that sentence.”

“No fucking way,” Levi replied, gripping Erwin’s hand even harder as they made it to the top step. Erwin hopped over to the bed and sat heavily, raking his hair away from his face again. 

“Thank you, Levi.”

“Yeah,” Levi muttered, rummaging around for a match. He finally found the box and lit the wick in the small bedside lamp. Erwin glanced down at his covers and Levi happened to notice that his shoulders tensed slightly. Erwin’s face was a mask of concentration, and Levi knew that he was debating whether or not to stand up and laboriously untuck all of his meticulous corners in order to get comfortable. 

Levi was moving before he’d even decided to help. 

Levi hesitated for a moment before he palmed the covers and shoved them aside, clumsily making room for Erwin. He tugged the corners of the sheets out from where they’d been tucked as well, anticipating that Erwin would eventually move out of his original position in an attempt to get comfortable. 

He was never inept, or tongue tied, and it made it even harder to grapple for something to say when Erwin settled onto the bed with ease. He relaxed against the pillow, somehow still regal with a dark bruise on his cheek and his knee bandaged. 

“I have to thank you again, Levi.”

“It’s fine.”

“I meant for today.”

Levi turned to look at him, his brow furrowing. Erwin picked up on his silent question and continued to speak; he spoke the words that Levi just knew that he needed to say. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to hear, but he leaned forwards to hear him better. 

“I expected you to leave me behind, for the good of the escape. The supply wagons were nowhere to be found,” Erwin said steadily, turning his head slightly to look Levi in the eye. “But I’m grateful that you patched me up.”

“Did you hit your head, too?” Levi said roughly. “Don’t go thinking that I would leave you behind. I’d kill all of the Titans coming at us if I had to.”

“I know,” Erwin said softly, shifting so that he was on his side. A lock of his hair fell into his eyes. Levi couldn’t look away. “I wanted to make it clear that I’m grateful.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Levi warned, raking a hand through his hair. “I can’t think straight when you do that.”

“Hm, really?” A satisfied smile played around the corners of his mouth.

“Don’t get used to it,” Levi grumbled, spinning on his heel to walk away. He needed a reprieve from the intensity of Erwin’s eyes before he lost all of his control. He was too damn tired to fight against the moment, especially when Erwin was staring at him like that. 

He sucked in a shocked breath when Erwin reached out and snagged his wrist, brushing his thumb against the sensitive skin of his pulse point. His palm was so warm that Levi couldn’t focus on anything else. 

“You could stay.”

Levi flushed, unable to stop the fluttering in his stomach. Even the tips of his ears burned. Everything that had happened that day faded away as Erwin gazed at him. 

“I-“

“Please,” Erwin said softly, gesturing towards the empty spot next to him. “We’ve had a difficult day, and I doubt that I should be left alone like this. It’s dangerous with a head wound.”

Levi’s mouth went dry. Amusement glittered in Erwin’s eyes, only adding to the yearning that wove through his veins. 

He wanted to stay. 

“You look fine to me,” Levi said quickly, turning his head to hide his reaction to Erwin’s words. There was nothing that he wanted more, but what was happening between them was still too new, too fragile for him to put into words. He was both terrified and eager, and it left him frozen, unsure how to go about accepting Erwin’s request. 

Levi wanted to fall asleep by Erwin’s side. He wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything, but his inexperience made his courage shrivel up entirely. He couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t rude or cutting, so he just stared at Erwin helplessly for a moment until Erwin laughed softly, raising his other hand to adjust his shirt collar. 

“Forgive me for teasing you. I couldn’t resist.”

Erwin made a move to drop Levi’s wrist, and panic spiked through his veins. He’d fucked up. Suddenly the thought of returning to his empty house, to attempt to sleep in his own bed or office chair was unbearably sad. He didn’t want to wallow, and he doubted that he would sleep a wink tonight anyways, but he didn’t want to be alone. 

Not when it was raining as hard as it was now.

“Wait. If you drop dead, it’ll be a pain in my ass,” Levi said shortly, avoiding Erwin’s gaze as he stomped over to the other side of the bed. It wasn’t a large bed by any means, but it felt like it took an eternity to get to the other side. 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, there’s gonna be a ton of paperwork. And I’ll have to deal with Hange as commander. Not my idea of a good time.”

Erwin’s soft chuckle eased some of the tension in Levi’s shoulders, and he forced his movements to smooth out. It occurred to him that he was moving rather jerkily, on account of his nervous energy. Of course Erwin noticed; almost nothing escaped that piercing gaze. 

Levi tensed, preparing to sit down when Erwin cleared his throat. 

“What?”

“Your boots,” Erwin said pointedly, “are terribly uncomfortable to sleep in.”

Levi’s breath left him in a shaky sigh as he nodded. His cheeks were so warm that they felt appallingly sensitive, but he soldiered on, determined to stay in control of his emotions as he unzipped his boots and stepped out of them, placing them neatly to the side before he began the process of removing his jacket and cloak. At the last second he removed his cravat as well. 

He already felt like he could breathe more easily without it. 

After a moment, he turned to look over his shoulder, daring Erwin to make fun of his slight frame. Erwin just looked at him steadily, shifting over to make room. Levi gingerly lay down, careful to keep several inches of distance between them. Erwin loosened his shirt collar and undid two of the buttons, sighing with relief as he did so. 

The tension that hung in the air was so thick that Levi could almost taste it. 

He knew that he hoped that Erwin had asked him to stay for another reason than his injuries, but he had absolutely no idea how to go about finding that out. Levi wasn’t sure if he could handle the rejection if Erwin didn’t feel the same way. 

Hell, Levi didn’t really have a word for how he felt, but it had to be more than respect. He respected several people, but no one else set his veins aflame with an almost painful yearning. Erwin was the only person who made him feel like he was truly dauntless; other than the butterflies that had made a home in his stomach of course. 

He could control that most of the time, ignore it enough to function, but didn’t have a hope in hell when Erwin lay only a few inches away. 

They had even kissed before, on a drunken night after a successful training camp a few months ago. But that had been an entirely isolated occurrence. Levi had been mostly sober, on account of his strange ability to handle dangerous amounts of liquor, but apparently Erwin had no such talent. Levi had never seen him so out of control before, and he hadn’t since. 

Levi had shouldered his arm when Erwin had meekly requested his help home after the officers had held their own party in the barracks, attempting to ignore the laughable height difference between them when Erwin had stumbled and half-fallen on the stone steps that led up to the square where his house stood. That had brought them to eye-level with one another, and Erwin had mumbled something about penance before he’d leaned forwards and kissed Levi. 

It had been chaste, and quick, but it had left a tattoo on Levi’s heart that pulsed brightly whenever he looked at Erwin. He wasn’t stupid enough to bring it up, but he wondered, especially in this moment, if Erwin remembered it. It replayed on a loop in Levi’s mind, tormenting him. 

He’d chosen to never mention it. It was safer that way; Erwin was usually too focused on his dream to notice much of anything else. Levi supposed that it was stupid and a waste of time to spend his days wondering if Erwin felt the same way about him, so he’d chosen to push it aside.

But his feelings on the matter were certainly bubbling up now. His lips tingled, remembering exactly what Erwin’s lips had felt like. His heart was beating so hard that it almost hurt.

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

“I haven’t gone about this as I should,” Erwin began softly, turning so that he was fully on his side, facing Levi. Slowly, reminding himself to breathe, Levi turned his head to look at him. He regretted it immediately as his greedy gaze took in Erwin’s face bathed in soft lamplight. 

He was radiant, shining with a thousand shades of gold as the lamp flickered behind him. His eyes were darker than Levi had ever seen them, simmering with a heat that made Levi’s stomach clench in a dizzying, entirely pleasant way. 

“I’m not a mind reader,” he replied bluntly, hoping against all hope that Erwin would continue. He couldn’t explain how he knew what Erwin was about to say, but he needed to hear it. 

“I should have asked your permission before I kissed you. I haven’t forgotten.”

Levi’s eyes widened. He quickly looked away, struggling to gather the scattered threads of his composure as he felt Erwin’s steady gaze trace along his cheekbones and down his throat. It was maddening, the way that Erwin could provoke this kind of a reaction from him without touching him. 

“Well I didn’t push you away, did I?” Levi finally said, staring up at the ceiling. “It was… nice.”

Erwin made an unexpected sound, and Levi’s head was turning towards him before he’d registered that it was an exclamation of surprise. They stared at each other for a few long seconds before Erwin slowly raised his hand and brushed his fingers along Levi’s jaw. 

His skin felt so sensitive that it was almost painful, and his eyes grew hooded as his heart began to beat so hard that he knew Erwin could see his pulse jump on his throat. But Erwin didn’t react, only moved enough to gently cradle Levi’s face. His long fingers brushed along the sensitive spot below his ear as his thumb traced along his cheekbone, and Levi swallowed hard. 

Erwin moved just slightly, enough to prop himself up on his elbow as he moved closer. Levi watched him, impatiently waiting for him to close the distance between them as his hand gripped the blanket so hard that he was afraid that he might rip it. 

“May I..?” Erwin whispered, a scant few inches from his mouth. 

Levi felt his warm breath puff across his lips, and his expression hardened. It was too much; he couldn’t take it anymore. If Erwin didn’t kiss him, Levi was quite sure that he would explode. 

“Don’t ask me, just do it,” Levi said sharply, fisting his hands in Erwin’s shirt. He wasn’t sure who moved first, but suddenly Erwin’s lips pressed against his, setting his nerve endings aflame. 

He didn’t know if he was doing it right, but his insecurity washed away as Erwin made a soft sound of approval that rumbled through Levi’s mouth. Erwin’s lips were softer than he remembered, and they were so warm that he _burned_. 

The intensity of Erwin’s mouth against his never faltered, but Levi had no doubt that he knew what he wanted. The kiss was both heartbreakingly gentle and so deeply possessive that he felt lightheaded. The brush of Erwin’s tongue against his pulled all of the strength from his knees, and he tangled his hands in Erwin’s rough-silk hair, savoring the soft groan that Erwin breathed against his mouth. 

Too soon, Erwin broke the kiss to rest his forehead against Levi’s. They were both panting and rosy cheeked, and Levi felt a small smile drift across his mouth. 

Levi stared at Erwin, memorizing the angles of his face. As it always did, time felt like it had slowed, and he could hear nothing but his heartbeat and the rain that echoed on the roof of the house. 

“I was a fool,” Erwin breathed, tracing the outline of Levi’s bottom lip with his index finger. Levi’s brow furrowed. 

“I’ve got a list of dumb shit you’ve done. Wanna be more specific?” He asked bluntly, unable to muster up his usual acerbic tone. He was still slightly breathless, which was both alarming and deeply satisfying. The corner of Erwin’s mouth turned up in a sheepish smile. 

“For making you wait. It was not my intention to give you the impression that I was not interested in you. I was concerned that it was inappropriate.”

“Romantic. You want me to swoon?” Levi muttered, unable to keep his thoughts to himself as Erwin stared at him for a second, clearly baffled by his response. He recovered quickly, sighing deeply as something almost sheepish crossed over his usually stoic expression. 

“I was uncertain that I would live long enough to-“

“Aren’t you all about living life without regrets? You didn’t listen when I told you that I’ll protect you. I wasn’t fucking around,” Levi responded sharply. He tensed as Erwin moved, lifting Levi just enough to slip his arm underneath his head. Levi sucked in a surprised breath as his head came to rest on the junction between Erwin’s shoulder and his chest. 

“I deserved that.”

Levi could hear the mirth in his tone. A smile danced around the corners of his mouth, but he was already embarrassed, so he turned his face into Erwin’s chest. 

“Hange knows. So forget about this being a secret,” he said softly, his voice slightly muffled through Erwin’s shirt. “There’s no way they’ll keep their big mouth shut.”

“I’m not surprised. They know us better than we thought,” Erwin said thoughtfully. 

For a brief second, as Levi mulled over his statement, he wondered if Erwin wanted to keep their entanglement between them, but he was reassured when Erwin pressed a kiss to his temple. Erwin knew him well enough to understand that there was a question hidden in Levi’s silence. 

_Just say it. I need to hear you say the words. No one else matters._

As far as Levi was concerned, his private life was his business, and anyone who had a problem with that could piss off. 

Erwin hummed thoughtfully, turning his head to look at Levi very directly. “I suspect that several of our colleagues have their suspicions that we are involved. I’m also not concerned.”

“I don't give a shit about what they think,” Levi said sharply, bolting upwards until he was propped up on his elbow. “Are we?”

“I believe so. Are you uncomfortable with the prospect?”

“No. Don’t tiptoe around me like you’re gonna break me, I’m not a fucking teacup,” Levi said sharply. He settled back into the curve of Erwin’s arm, noticing immediately that Erwin curled his arm around his shoulders. 

He wasn’t sure if Erwin was aware that he had begun to trace out soft patterns against Levi’s shoulder, but he didn’t want to bring it to his attention for fear that he would stop. Levi shivered, although it had nothing to do with the temperature of the room. 

Immediately, Erwin reached to the end of the bed and drew a thin woolen blanket over him. Joy bloomed in Levi’s chest, and he silently allowed Erwin to arrange it, making sure that the corners were tucked in around him. 

The gesture was tender, and Levi felt his cheeks heat as a blush bloomed to the surface. He couldn’t think of anything else to say, so for the second time in an hour, he was tongue-tied. He was embarrassed, but he was so happy to be safe in Erwin’s arms that it didn’t matter. 

“Duly noted,” Erwin replied quietly. They lay there for a few moments in silence, and Levi basked in it. They were at their best in moments like these, where they understood that the other was communicating volumes, without ever having to say a word. Every brush of Erwin’s fingers against his spine traced out everything that Levi needed to hear. 

The beautiful silence was broken as Erwin fought to stifle a yawn. Levi glanced up at his face. 

“I must confess that I’m still struggling to stay awake,” Erwin admitted, blinking hard as he fought to keep his eyes open. Levi found it oddly charming, but he had no idea what to say. He settled for a joke instead. 

“That’s the head wound,” Levi said quickly. Erwin’s chest flexed as he chuckled, and Levi’s whole body warmed as he moved with him. Under the blanket, it was hard to tell where his body ended and Erwin’s began. It felt incredible, and Levi was surprised to find that he didn’t want to move away, or pull his walls back up around himself. 

Normally, he would have been annoyed that Erwin had so effectively gotten him to let his guard down, but he was a little impressed. The fact that he was head over heels for Erwin helped to soothe that particular irritation, anyways. 

“I assure you that I’m quite clear-headed,” Erwin murmured. “I’m in complete control of my faculties.”

There was that heated gaze again, and Levi’s gaze dropped automatically to Erwin’s lips. As he watched, they parted.

“I was entirely serious when I asked you to stay.”

“Yeah, I got that loud and clear.”

“Good. Please wake me if I snore,” Erwin said softly. Levi’s eyes widened as a flush appeared on his cheeks. Apparently the stoic Erwin Smith could be bashful; Levi decided on the spot that he liked to see him this way. 

“Can’t be worse than Hange’s snoring,” Levi responded drily. 

“Well then, compare the two, by all means. I’ll expect you to report your findings in the morning,” Erwin replied lowly, smiling crookedly as the corner of Levi’s mouth ticked up and he let out a soft chuckle. 

Erwin settled back on his pillow, moving so that Levi could arrange himself more comfortably. He held his breath as Erwin’s index finger drew along his chin, tipping his head back enough for Erwin to press another searing kiss to his lips. 

“Goodnight,” he finally murmured against him, ghosting one last soft kiss across Levi’s mouth before he reached over to the bedside table to snuff out the lamp. 

“I don’t sleep-“ Levi began, but Erwin sighed. 

“Try. I won’t be offended if you choose to leave.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Levi said sullenly, closing his eyes as he snuggled closer to Erwin’s side. “If you tell me to dream of freedom, I’ll smother you.”

Erwin’s laugh rumbled through his chest and he pulled Levi a little closer. “It’s my dream, so I’m not inclined to share. Dream of me, if you’d like.”

“There’s no way in hell.”

Levi would never admit that he’d spent years doing that exact thing; but he intended to take that particular secret to his grave. He had no idea how much time passed, but with each passing moment he allowed himself to relax further until he drifted into the delicious place between dreams and waking. 

He was safe and warm. He could almost forget how horrible the day had been when Erwin’s chest rose and fell rhythmically against his ear, lulling him towards sleep. The heartbeat that echoed through Erwin’s skin was slow, and deep, and before he knew it, Levi had completely calmed. 

Erwin’s hand was warm against his shoulder blades, and Levi heard his mind, as if from a distance, wonder if this is what it felt like to have found a home. Rain drummed against the roof, echoing quietly as it dripped down the gutters outside the windows. 

As Levi drifted off, he started to think that maybe the rain wasn’t so bad after all.

* * *

**He hates it, but he understands its purpose. It is the rain that coaxes wildflowers to grow in the places where his comrades have fallen. It fills the streams and encourages crops to grow. It washes away traces of war, and sorrow, and without it, Levi thinks that mankind would grow weary of sunlight.**

**Erwin loves the rain, and Levi loves him. Perhaps he could try, for Erwin's sake.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was crazy long, I didn't want to split it up into chapters like I normally would have! It's kind of poetic that it was raining where I live every time I sat down to write over the last three weeks. Hope you liked this chapter, I'll try and have the next one up soon. I'm thinking this anthology will be around 6-8 chapters in total, but we'll see whether the creative part of my brain will stick to that! All my love xx


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